Time Your Double Tap
Ectomorphs! This is NOT for you. Ecto-Mesos, you neither. Mesomorphs, you just wouldn’t understand, but still, you just might look this way to get that last 1% off of you. Meso-Endos, now we’re talking. Endomorphs, us poor, poor fat bastards, we need all the help we can get! Some guys and gals need that extra metabolic help. We just weren’t born with that amazingly trim, fatless body that sparkles in the sunlight like the Cullens from Twilight. We don’t have that tight skin, those stacked abdominals, and twin beautifully etched deltoids all year long. No, instead, we have to fight daily to keep away the unforgiving sight of rotund love-handles, side boob, and unsightly jiggle whenever we brush our teeth. We can put on muscle pretty easily, sure, but we are also blessed with the innate ability to walk into a Dunkin’ Donuts and magically gain orangutan titties. These are the cards we were dealt, and so we play them handedly. We wear our thick zip-up hoodies, even in the heat of summer (if we missed our summer-bod deadline), and we avoid participating in outdoor play where one team is “shirts” and the others are “skins”, for fear of being a dreaded “skin”. And worst of all, we have to watch our ripped up friends, feast on pre, post, pre-pre, and post-post workout Pop Tarts and then down a few burgers, fries, and milkshakes before bed in the name of #gainZ, only to see them, week in and week out, metamorphosis into leaner and stronger versions of themselves.
Life isn’t fair. Especially for us fatties. But every once in a while, the Gods of Obesity look down at us from above, then look at each other’s pendulous bellies, then look at us again, and concoct a special helper that descends upon us when we need it the most. RedCon1’s “Double Tap”, is the kind of helper that we embrace with a full-figured hug! Given the myriad of overpriced, ill-assembled, mindless ingredient added “fat-burner” products out there, it is a breath of fresh-baked air when a product like Double Tap rises…like the crust of a deep dish pizza. Of course, this type of product isn’t just for us adipose challenged lifters, it can be used for just about everybody (except you goddamn Ectomorphs). It all depends on “how” you use it. Let me give you an example.
I myself, am a self-professed meso-endomorph, although now that I am getting older, the meso portion, that used to somewhat keep me one-foot in with the cool crowd, seems to be rapidly atrophying. I have to fight to keep not only the fat accumulation to a minimum, but also to keep my devastatingly maniacal hunger at bay! Such a symptomatic system stresses systemic structuring (alliteration, you’re welcome). So, for a 210 lbs hard training brown-beluga, like myself, I need to time my meals accordingly, and equally as important, I would need to time my Double Tap precisely as well! Here is what I would do:
Upon Waking: 3 Caps RedCon1 Double Tap, 30mins prior to 30mins Fasted Low Intensity Cardio
Meal 1: 10 egg whites, 1 cup oats
Meal 2: 2 scoops Whey Isolate (ISOTOPE RedCon1)
Meal 3: 8oz Lean Ground Beef, 2 cups rice, 1 tablespoon Black beans, some green veggies (yuck!)
Pre-Training: 3 Caps RedCon1 Double Tap, 1 scoop Big Noise, 1 teaspoon of generic Wallgreens Creatine Monohydrate
Post-Training: 2 scoops Whey Isolate, ½ cup Oats, 1 banana
Meal 5: Same as meal 3
Meal 6: 6 egg whites, ½ cup non-fat plain Greek Yogurts, green veggies (yuck!)
If staying up late to finish client work, podcast editing, writing, etc, and can’t eat anymore food because I’ve already met my caloric quota for the day (sad face); 1-2 caps Double Tap depending on how close it is to bedtime and how hungry I am.
To understand why I would use this product, the way I have described it, let’s briefly get to the yellow-marrow of what is in Double Tap to allow for such a dosing schedule! First and for-most, every fat burner begins with the notorious C-word. No, not the dirty curse that rhymes with “runt”, I’m talking about Caffeine! By now, we all understand the fat burning properties of properly placed caffeine in the diet. Double Tap has a HEFTY dose of caffeine in the forms of Caffeine Anhydrous, Di-caffeine Malate, as well a sprinkling of caffeine from caffeine-like Teacrine and Green Tea Extract. Green Tea Extract, although also being a source of caffeine, has many other fat burning properties, for example; general increase of metabolic rate, increase in fatty acid oxidation, releasing energy from stored glycogen in addition to glucose disposal, and finally, it is a chemical sibling to Clenbuterol. KIDDING! It is a MUST-HAVE that compliments the various actions of the multiple forms of caffeine. In addition to this blubber-busting stack, we have Acytl L-carnitine. This is a personal favorite of mine because it is invaluable in its ability to mobilize fatty acids for energy use when working along side stimulants such as caffeine, but it is also active in neuronal function! So it keeps the brain highly functioning when I am sitting at my computer and trying to write an article, while keeping thoughts of Pizza Hut lunch buffet at bay. Lastly, we have two stimulants that are reactive with fatty tissue, as well as neuronal tissue; Octopamine HCL and 2-Aminoisohaptaine. The former being a powerful beta-adrenergic receptor stimulator on adipocytes (just like our old friend Ephedra), and the latter being similar to 1,3 DMAA and being a power CNS stimulant.
So with all this sciencey goodness in mind, look at where I place Double Tap in my general day! First, before morning cardio, to best take advantage of the already free floating fatty acids and double my fat-burning efforts, secondly, before training at the gym to get my sluggish metabolism ready to liberate fatty acids to spur on even more fat burning, especially taking advantage of the fat-burning EPOC effect post workout (EPOC being “excess post-exercise oxygen consumption), and lastly after all my food is eaten for the day and I’m up late working away in my hungry misery, 1-2 caps of Double Tap is a savior in order to stave away devilish nightly cravings and enhance my focus on my work…instead of counting down the days until my next visit to Five Guys.
To all the vein popping, concrete in-appearance, and carved out Ectos and Mesos out there, good for you. I’m happy for your genetic gifts of always being beach ready. And to all my Endomorphic friends out there, yes you’ll always be hungry, and yes you’ll think everyone you see is a piece of KFC, but with properly timed Double Tap, there will be a gateway to a leaner and less flubbery self. I’m not saying that you can go donut for donut with your peeled workout friends, but I am saying that getting leaner won’t be a hard as it used to be. Of course, that means that everyone else will be able to get a lot leaner much more easily too, BUT, it’s more important to us metabolically extra-chromosomed behemoths. Seriously, who’s more impressive; the gal or guy who went from hard and sexy to harder and sexier?? Or the roly-poly troglodyte that went from bountifully bulbous to beaming beauty? My dumpy friends, time your Double Tap right, and they’ll NEVER know… (insert Vincent Price laugh, NOW).
~by Vijay Puri BS DC
