These last two weeks have been very long for me. Actually more like this past month. I started a new training plan which involved more time in the gym and more time away from my daughter. It required me to tend to my house more than normal and make sure everything was clean as I knew I had family coming to visit soon and a spare room that still had boxes and things to be unpacked from when we moved. (Yes, still sitting there.) I had to spend time on preparing meals two times a week that took about 4-5 hours each time. To top it off I had 2 failed sleep studies which I still have to take one more and then I just quit lol. Let’s not forget appointments and Dr visits from having a sick kid once again! Anyways, all of this has made my time with my daughter feel limited. Each night I rock her to sleep I stare at her and realize how each day she gets a little bigger. New words are added to her vocabulary and I wonder where my sweet baby has gone as I hold this growing toddler who I love more than life itself. I dont want to miss this. This time I will never get back. This time that goes faster than I ever thought and one day she wont be my little girl curled up in my lap and it brings tears to my eyes. So for now I’ll stare at this tiny ever growing face and remember this….

Everyday, no matter what happens or who my daughter is with, when she sees me she stops and runs to me yelling “Mommy!” with the biggest hug because she missed me. She loves me. We need to as Moms (and Dads who read this) not be so hard on ourselves. We need to trust that what we are doing is right for our kids and not worry about what anyone else says or does. There will be times that no matter what we do someone else will disagree with our method or think they can do it better or just plain think we are wrong. Guess what, your not. If it’s what you feel is best then there is no wrong answer. There is no who did it better. It’s about what is right for YOUR family and guess what, the wonderful part is WHO F*%*ing CARES what others think!!! That’s the best part!! When you become a parent, you instantly become your own boss and no one above you will ever tell you what’s right or wrong. Your in charge. It’s a HUGE undertaking but absolutely the most rewarding experience one can ever have. It’s the most beautiful, exhausting, mind blowing, 24/7 time consuming, mentally draining, under appreciated, under valued and physically demanding job you will ever know and it lasts the rest of your life…… incredible right? (And a little scary lol) it’s also the BEST job I have EVER had…. period. 

I read the poem below in a forum and had to share it here as it says it better than I could ever do… 

“When we are worrying over whether or not they are eating right, eating enough, or if they even ate at all today.
They are loving us.
When we wonder if we are too hard on them or not disciplining them enough.
They are loving us.
When they give us extra cuddles or throw the biggest tantrum ever.
They are loving us.
When we are not sure if we held them too much today or didn’t hold them enough.
They are loving us.
When we can’t always be the fun and exciting mom because the house needs cleaned and life is chaotic.
They are loving us.
When we are trying to be present at home, but work is weighing on our minds.
They are loving us.
When we feel like everything is going wrong.
They are loving us.”
-Sara Bigelow Myser 

Remember this, at the end of the day, nothing matters but your family. Your little ones who look up to you and think your the sun moon and stars all combined into one. You answer to no one but the Man Above, so release that tension from your shoulders, take a deep breath, and enjoy this little glimpse of time because it will all be gone before you know it and be just a wonderful memory.

xoxo

Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso

Kidding. But really, this is more of a personal post on where I’m at in my pregnancy and some things that have crossed my mind.

I am currently at a couple days over 37 weeks. That puts me over 9 months pregnant…yes, there are actually 10 full months, technically. At a little over 9 months, I am absolutely slowing down. Physically and mentally. This is when I tend to want to go into hibernation mode after 1pm. I’m up by 6:30 every morning with my [almost] 5 year old, beat by the time I drop him off at the bus at 8:15am, come back home to my [almost] 2 year old and finish getting him ready for the day.

I force myself into the gym because I know that will at least buy me a few more hours of energy. No matter how tired I may feel, getting to the gym (specifically getting my heart rate up and blood moving) will always give me some energy and make me feel better. Fellow gym-goers comment on how I’m carrying the pregnancy either physically and/or mentally, and I always credit it to getting in the gym. As run down as I’ve been feeling, I know it could be a lot worse and I just could not imagine not having some sort of exercise regimen worked into my daily routine.

At this point in the gym I’m more “going through the motions” versus trying to maintain anything…except my sanity. I still choose to challenge myself for one or two exercises, meaning keeping the weight at a number that only lets me do 8-10 reps. Even with all of the benefits proven with exercise during pregnancy, I am still finding on many websites talk of “light weight training is aloud.” No one is mentioning if you were weight training at a higher level pre-pregnancy, then [with your doctor’s permission] you can continue weight training at that same level. This is where lots of women are scared off whether they are advanced or not. Pregnancy is a whole new game, and proper guidance is required.

There is nothing wrong with continuing to train at a “heavier” load IF you were training that way prior to pregnancy.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ll move on to more life at 3 weeks out of having a baby. I am at the official point of countdowns and checklists. Although with number 3, the countdown isn’t quite as in my face as it was the first two times. I’m just over here trying to balance my already existing mom life of 2 rambunctious boys, taking shorts naps, making trips into our office, taking more short naps, doing something for myself (gym), being awake for the hubby, more naps and more “momming”. Somehow I’m not even sure how I’ve gotten to this point so fast! But it’s here, in my face, with lots of check marks next to my to-do list. Here are some things to consider having done in the last month of pregnancy, that made it to my list:

• Register at the hospital you’ll be delivering at. You’ll want to do this prior to going into labor because the last thing you’ll want to do is fill out paperwork between contractions!
• Pack your hospital bag. Again, something you won’t want to do in the midst of contractions.
• Know your pediatrician. An easy one if it’s not your first.
• Install the carseat. You can visit your local fire station and have them install or check your installation.
• Prepare for backup. If this is not your first, you’ll have to call in the troops to care for your other little one(s). Many women choose to hire a night nurse at the beginning, someone who will help during the night a few days a week. This can minimize how many times you’re getting up throughout the night. This is a nice option to have especially when you have other kids to care for during the day. If you choose to do this, interviewing and hiring someone will be important to take care of within the last month.
• Pamper yourself! Take some time in the last month to do something for yourself. Whether it’s getting your hair and/or nails done, taking a trip to a prenatal spa or even relaxing in the pool. Also setting aside time for you and your significant other since things will be pretty preoccupied once baby arrives!
• Have the necessities. A baby registry will consist of at least 100 different items, but there’s maybe only a handful of items you’ll actually need when the baby’s born. This would include:

• • • Bassinet
    • Newborn diapers & wipes
    • Swaddle blanket (my favorite brand is Aden + Anais)
    • Medical kit including: aspirator, thermometer, baby nail file, etc
    • Burp cloths
    • Breast pump if you’re breast feeding. Bottles and formula if you’re formula feeding
    • Finally, a swing. This will be your best friend. I recommend an old fashioned swing, not one of these fancy high tech contraptions. I’ve used both, traditional and the 4Mom brand with bluetooth. I’m going back to traditional with this one. You’ll want something that can soothe and rock the baby to give yourself a break.

These are really the main things you’ll want/need in the very beginning and the hospital will even provide things like diapers, pacis, formula bottles to take home and get you going. Of course as days go by, there are many more items to add on but these will give you a good start. So don’t start freaking if you haven’t gotten your baby bullet blender off your registry for making food in 5 months!

Once these are checked off, you’ll go through the standard “nesting” phases which can include anything from deep cleaning your cabinets to finishing off the nursery details on a ladder way too high for your own good. I’m having fun with this last month, as exhausted as I am, because now I’m really feeling it, and it’s really getting real!

One thing you realize once you have kids is time goes by quick. As absolutely cliche as it is, it is so true. It doesn’t seem so long ago at all that we were surprised by the news of our first pregnancy. The emotion, the wonder, the shock of it all was all too real. In a month that little boy will be 5, following our second little man turning 2. Now I can barely even remember life before these guys. So if you’re in a rush to speed this time up, because of discomfort or whatever your reason may be, just remember how quickly the time will actually come and cherishing certain moments is the best we can do!

-Darielle Singerman

• Hip squeezes during each contraction was the biggest relief for me.
• Rebozo sifting: using a long piece of fabric to move my abdomen from side to side is a two fold. It helped me relax and also helps to gently move the baby down the birth canal.
• Bouncing on a yoga ball or cold compresses are little things that can help to make you more comfortable.
• Different positions, don’t just lay on your back, find what works for you!
• Lastly the water tub. This truly helps to manage the pain by 50 percent.

All of these techniques help your body relax so that you can birth in a more peaceful state! Hiring a doula is an excellent way to help you through a natural birth whether that be at home or in a hospital. This video is my experience birthing my first son which shows many of the previous mentioned techniques. Happy & healthy birthing?

-Hallie Bader, mom of two

Let’s talk about motivation for a minute. What is it to be motivated? It’s actually just a state of mind. The feeling that something has caused you the desire to behave in a certain way. Knowing this, it’s important to hold onto those moments in our mind that got us into the thing we desire (in this case, fitness), in the first place. Obviously motivations can change once our goals change. The first time I worked out when I was 16 is not the same reason I work out today, but it’s not going to be far off. Is it to reach a goal? To prove something? To feel better mentally and physically? Like staying humble, it’s important to never forget where you started, where “it” came from. If you sit down and think about these moments, what has driven you in the past, you can prepare yourself before those de-motivating moments hit. I, for example, am motivated seeing others train harder than me. I’ve always had fitness goals since the day I became 100% committed 7-8 years ago. Whether it was through competition, losing baby weight, prepping for a photoshoot or even preparing for pregnancy, I’ve always had something in mind keeping me focused. In my mind I know watching people train harder than me will push me to be the better version, or at least continue with what I’m doing and maintain my fitness level. In my case, speaking on a day that I may not want to get to the gym, I mentally get fired up by watching training clips, whether it be one or 10 exercises. In general, setting goals is going to be crucial for anything you’re doing. Whether we’re speaking motivation in the gym, work or school. Goals are the destination and what you do to get there is the journey.

While reading up on various ways to stay motivated, I came across something interesting, written by James Clear. He talks about the “Goldilocks Rule”. Psychologically, people are much more inclined to remain motivated when that thing is neither too easy nor too hard. You guessed it, it’s gotta be just right! Lets take the gym for example (shocker). If you are at a point that you are just going through the motions, not truly being challenged and no longer feel you are pushing yourself, it has become way too “easy” for you, thus leading to feeling unmotivated. On the opposite end, if you walk into a gym that feels overly intimidating to you, or perhaps you’re working with someone that is pushing you way beyond your fitness level and you feel nothing but discomfort for days after each training session, that may demotivate or discourage you. Find the healthy balance between the two where you are being challenged in a realistic way. You’ve set realistic goals and feel you are actually working towards something attainable. Humans enjoy a challenge, but usually if we feel it is reachable. So next time you’re not feeling the motivation, think about the routine you’re in and if tweaking that would tweak your motivation at all. If that doesn’t work, just throw on some shoes, suck it up and do 10 burpees, 10 squats & 10 pushups. Pushing yourself through the “pain” (in this case, not wanting to do it) , will actually trick your mind into thinking differently!

-Darielle Singerman

I also knew I couldn’t do it alone. And that​’​s OK to admit. Find yourself a good coach.

What is a good coach/mentor to you?

​To me, a good coach makes time to listen ​and communicate. I know I can expect a response in a reasonable time. ​(​No​ ​​​wait​ing anxiously for​ weeks for a reply. A good coach is one who won​’t allow you ​failure. It’s THEIR opinion you come to respect. As much as you want it for you, you want it for them​,and if you drop the ball​, you feel ​like you let two people down. Their excitement is your excitement. Their motivation is your motivation. Every​ da​y, I want to not only make myself proud​, but ​also make my coach proud. I push harder knowing​ she is there​,pushing me​. And I know as bad as I want it​,she may be the only other person that wants it more for me than I do….

The quote below is​ a long-time favorite​:

“Life’s best coaches are those who believe in you and your potential, sometimes even before you do.”

Remember this when you look for someone who is go​ing to be in charge of changing your lifestyle.

Disclaimer:​ There are ​as many good coaches as ​there are bad ones,​ so make sure you DO YOUR RESEARCH ​on the be​st fit for you. ​My perfect fit is Team Bombshell with​ Mama Bombshell, Shannon De​y​, and my personal coach​, Gennifer Strobo. You have to do what’s right for ​you, and sometimes that requires trial and error. Do not be afraid to say what you want. You pay an expert to help you so before you go and spend hard​-earned money make​sure you are willing to also invest your energy and time, and sweat. (Lots of sweat.) ​At the end of the day, YOU ​are still the one ​that must follow instructions. No one can make you get out of bed​, food prep​, or go to the gym​. But a good coach sure can make you feel accountable! No matter how you do it​ – self​-motivation or hiring help, DO IT FOR YOU!

At 30 weeks pregnant with her 3rd, Darielle demonstrates over a dozen different home workout exercises using bands and light dumbbells. Add weight, reps, sets, etc to increase intensity. Our mission: to show all women that working out while pregnant can be safe and beneficial for mom and baby!

For the first, you may be scared, most likely nervous and most definitely not sure what to expect. The pregnancy thing is brand spanking new and everything from the insane tiredness at the beginning, to “why is my hip hurting”, to “why am I getting this weird feeling in my chest after eating??”, aka heartburn. And thats just the first 9 months of this new life! Once that’s over, you get to experience childbirth for the first time and then finally the grand finale that never ends, raising a little human. Oh the questions, comments and concerns that come with that..where’s the suggestion box?? Life as a brand new mom literally rocks your world.

Then comes number two. This time, it’s way less scary and a bit more predictable. During the pregnancy, your confidence is higher, you’re busy with number one and life overall has already taken its biggest turn. You’re already a parent, but now you’re adding multiples to your pack. I’d have to say one of the biggest questions you may ask yourself with this one is (and I’ll use my sons name for example purposes): “I love Asher so much, more than I could ever imagine loving someone. How can I share that love with someone else?? Will I love baby number two as much as I love Asher?” Now this was never a huge concern of mine, but I think it’s a thought a lot of women are ashamed to admit they have. I’ve heard from plenty of other moms this concern, or even just the thought. You’ve created this little family with your first, and you wonder how you’re going to add in an additional little love. But you do. Baby number two is born and he fits right in, maybe with a little bit more excitement because you know of the wonderful things to come.

Now comes baby number 3. Fear is almost non existent. Nerves? What’s that, I need coffee. You’re a pro at this. Now for the first time, this pregnancy may seem more exciting than scary. Not only have you been through it twice, but there’s no longer a question of how can we fit more kids into this pack and love them equally. You do. You know you do, and that’s exciting. You’ve created your family and now the excitement grows of knowing you get to bring in another little person into your family. Introduce him to your world, kid 1&2’s world and all that you’ve been building since your first little guy or girl made their grand entrance. Not only do you get over those nervous thoughts, but you really have no time to pay too much attention to the everyday little annoyances of pregnancy. You’re just as, if not more tired from the first two. Too busy to dissect and analyze every ache, pain, craving, thought, etc that you may have with the first pregnancy. So yes, the 9 months fly by. Being only 2 months away from welcoming number 3 into the world, I feel like I could use an extra 6 just to prepare his nursery.

Darielle Singerman

Wendy Capurso

Although nothing can replace a solid diet, as you should be getting your nutrients via food-source, a good multivitamin is always recommended pre-during-post pregnancy. Since prenatal vitamins are typically packed with tons of extra nutrients, many women choose to take these year-round whether they are expecting or not. It is a wonderful compliment to an already balanced, nutritious diet. Of course if you’re lacking in the “balanced”, “nutritious” or “balanced and nutritious” part, then a good multivitamin is even more important for you and baby. There are many vitamins & minerals that aid in the growth & development of your little womb baby, as well as keep your own body fully operating as little guy/girl is taking from you.

Nutrients to look out for

Folic Acid : Recommended at 400 mcg/day: One of the more important ones to look out for, as this helps prevent defects of the brain and spinal cord, neural tub defects. Because this would have the biggest impact at the very beginning of the pregnancy, experts suggest beginning a prenatal vitamin before conception. You can get this from foods, specifically leafy green vegetables, citrus fruits & fortified cereals. However, folic acid in a supplement form is still highly recommended.

Iron : Recommended at 27 mg/day: During pregnancy, your body is producing more blood for the baby. Iron is used to produce these red blood cells in your body, as well as move oxygen throughout your body and to the placenta. If you are not taking in enough Iron to fuel this, you risk getting anemia and feeling extra tired and run down, as a result. This can also result in early labor and/or low birth weight. Foods you can also get more iron from would be beef, chicken, beans, spinach & fortified cereals. Did you know pairing a food source containing Iron with Vitamin C increases absorption. On the flip side, there are foods and drinks that can prevent proper Iron absorption. This includes coffee, tea, milk & whole grains. So skip the cup of coffee with your vitamin and opt for a glass of Orange Juice to get the most out of your vitamin!

Calcium & Vitamin D: Recommended at 1000mg/day & 5mcg/day: Your baby will take the nutrients it needs to grow…from you! The first place Calcium is taken from is bones/teeth, which can definitely make them weaker and not as healthy if there is no Calcium supplemented. Foods to get this from would be milk products, orange juice, tofu, salmon & kale, to name a few.

Omega 3: Recommended at 300mg/day, part DHA, part EPA: While some Multivitamins may have this in their formula, its typically not in large enough doses to account for the full recommendation. So it’s important to add this on as an additional supplement to your multi. Omega-3 fatty acids are essential for many functions of the body including brain/cognitive development. Fish & nuts would be the main food source to get this from, but again, a supplemental Omega-3 is advised!

With the extra nutrients you’re taking in, plus crazy hormonal fluctuations, you may experience some side effects. Luckily it’s not a list of a 150 including anything so serious that can’t be fixed, but its enough where if you notice some, tell your doctor. It would include nausea, constipation, loss of appetite, cramps, vomitting. For me personally, with my first two pregnancies I would get nauseous after taking my multivitamin. An easy fix for that is to either try taking with food and if you’re like me where you already were, try taking it right before bed. That is what I had to do and it worked like a charm. Now, I’m taking a different multivitamin that gives me no side effects whatsoever. I do like this one because it’s made from whole foods and contains digestive enzymes, something that may be helping the nausea. If you’re not sure where to start, it’s always a good idea to ask your Doctor. The office should have samples to give you and try before committing to any one brand of vitamin.

While these are only just a select few vitamins & minerals to look for, these would be the key players of which you’d want to look out for to be sure you’re getting the right amount for yourself and your growing baby. Don’t be scared off by the potential side effects of the multivitamin, as there’s greater risk in not getting the right amount of nutrition!

Darielle Singerman