These last two weeks have been very long for me. Actually more like this past month. I started a new training plan which involved more time in the gym and more time away from my daughter. It required me to tend to my house more than normal and make sure everything was clean as I knew I had family coming to visit soon and a spare room that still had boxes and things to be unpacked from when we moved. (Yes, still sitting there.) I had to spend time on preparing meals two times a week that took about 4-5 hours each time. To top it off I had 2 failed sleep studies which I still have to take one more and then I just quit lol. Let’s not forget appointments and Dr visits from having a sick kid once again! Anyways, all of this has made my time with my daughter feel limited. Each night I rock her to sleep I stare at her and realize how each day she gets a little bigger. New words are added to her vocabulary and I wonder where my sweet baby has gone as I hold this growing toddler who I love more than life itself. I dont want to miss this. This time I will never get back. This time that goes faster than I ever thought and one day she wont be my little girl curled up in my lap and it brings tears to my eyes. So for now I’ll stare at this tiny ever growing face and remember this….

Everyday, no matter what happens or who my daughter is with, when she sees me she stops and runs to me yelling “Mommy!” with the biggest hug because she missed me. She loves me. We need to as Moms (and Dads who read this) not be so hard on ourselves. We need to trust that what we are doing is right for our kids and not worry about what anyone else says or does. There will be times that no matter what we do someone else will disagree with our method or think they can do it better or just plain think we are wrong. Guess what, your not. If it’s what you feel is best then there is no wrong answer. There is no who did it better. It’s about what is right for YOUR family and guess what, the wonderful part is WHO F*%*ing CARES what others think!!! That’s the best part!! When you become a parent, you instantly become your own boss and no one above you will ever tell you what’s right or wrong. Your in charge. It’s a HUGE undertaking but absolutely the most rewarding experience one can ever have. It’s the most beautiful, exhausting, mind blowing, 24/7 time consuming, mentally draining, under appreciated, under valued and physically demanding job you will ever know and it lasts the rest of your life…… incredible right? (And a little scary lol) it’s also the BEST job I have EVER had…. period. 

I read the poem below in a forum and had to share it here as it says it better than I could ever do… 

“When we are worrying over whether or not they are eating right, eating enough, or if they even ate at all today.
They are loving us.
When we wonder if we are too hard on them or not disciplining them enough.
They are loving us.
When they give us extra cuddles or throw the biggest tantrum ever.
They are loving us.
When we are not sure if we held them too much today or didn’t hold them enough.
They are loving us.
When we can’t always be the fun and exciting mom because the house needs cleaned and life is chaotic.
They are loving us.
When we are trying to be present at home, but work is weighing on our minds.
They are loving us.
When we feel like everything is going wrong.
They are loving us.”
-Sara Bigelow Myser 

Remember this, at the end of the day, nothing matters but your family. Your little ones who look up to you and think your the sun moon and stars all combined into one. You answer to no one but the Man Above, so release that tension from your shoulders, take a deep breath, and enjoy this little glimpse of time because it will all be gone before you know it and be just a wonderful memory.

xoxo

Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso

Let’s talk about motivation for a minute. What is it to be motivated? It’s actually just a state of mind. The feeling that something has caused you the desire to behave in a certain way. Knowing this, it’s important to hold onto those moments in our mind that got us into the thing we desire (in this case, fitness), in the first place. Obviously motivations can change once our goals change. The first time I worked out when I was 16 is not the same reason I work out today, but it’s not going to be far off. Is it to reach a goal? To prove something? To feel better mentally and physically? Like staying humble, it’s important to never forget where you started, where “it” came from. If you sit down and think about these moments, what has driven you in the past, you can prepare yourself before those de-motivating moments hit. I, for example, am motivated seeing others train harder than me. I’ve always had fitness goals since the day I became 100% committed 7-8 years ago. Whether it was through competition, losing baby weight, prepping for a photoshoot or even preparing for pregnancy, I’ve always had something in mind keeping me focused. In my mind I know watching people train harder than me will push me to be the better version, or at least continue with what I’m doing and maintain my fitness level. In my case, speaking on a day that I may not want to get to the gym, I mentally get fired up by watching training clips, whether it be one or 10 exercises. In general, setting goals is going to be crucial for anything you’re doing. Whether we’re speaking motivation in the gym, work or school. Goals are the destination and what you do to get there is the journey.

While reading up on various ways to stay motivated, I came across something interesting, written by James Clear. He talks about the “Goldilocks Rule”. Psychologically, people are much more inclined to remain motivated when that thing is neither too easy nor too hard. You guessed it, it’s gotta be just right! Lets take the gym for example (shocker). If you are at a point that you are just going through the motions, not truly being challenged and no longer feel you are pushing yourself, it has become way too “easy” for you, thus leading to feeling unmotivated. On the opposite end, if you walk into a gym that feels overly intimidating to you, or perhaps you’re working with someone that is pushing you way beyond your fitness level and you feel nothing but discomfort for days after each training session, that may demotivate or discourage you. Find the healthy balance between the two where you are being challenged in a realistic way. You’ve set realistic goals and feel you are actually working towards something attainable. Humans enjoy a challenge, but usually if we feel it is reachable. So next time you’re not feeling the motivation, think about the routine you’re in and if tweaking that would tweak your motivation at all. If that doesn’t work, just throw on some shoes, suck it up and do 10 burpees, 10 squats & 10 pushups. Pushing yourself through the “pain” (in this case, not wanting to do it) , will actually trick your mind into thinking differently!

-Darielle Singerman

First, I’d like to apologize to my body. Sorry for taking advantage of the hours I used to sleep and think it wasn’t enough. As a mom, non-parents who say “I’m tired” makes me laugh. Unless you’re in the military or another job that requires 48-hour shifts and then STILL get only interrupted chances for sleep, you don’t know what “I’m tired” is. Imagine a nursing, wailing newborn, up every 2 hours for a MINIMUM of 45 minutes and then back to sleep, only to wake 2 hours later. And on continues this 24/7 cycle. It’s incomprehensible. 

Now that I have you. Incorporate fitness into this schedule. I feel like this has to be why doctors suggest 4 to 8 weeks before resuming activity – your sleep schedule alone hinders any recovery you would need from your workouts. And you would need that opportunity for rest. Which again, is nonexistent. 

Now, fast forward. (As I’m writing this my daughter is napping, which I should be doing as well, but can’t because I can’t seem to sleep – shocker.) How can we incorporate exercise on such little sleep? Sleep is when your body recovers. If you Google “sleep and health,” it says:

“Sleep plays an important role in your physical health. For example, sleep is involved in healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels. Ongoing sleep deficiency is linked to an increased risk of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke.” 

If you miss one night of sleep, your blood pressure the next day is elevated. To sleep is to repair. HGH is released by the brain into the blood and initiates the restorative function of sleep. HGH released during the night is released in the first few sleep cycles and research has shown that sleep deprivation can throw this off and eliminate the HGH bursts we get. We need this as it’s released and used by our muscles to initiate recovery and re-energize our bodies. Not to mention the loss of REM sleep when you don’t go through each stage of sleep cycle. (Four to be exact.) Basically, the body suffers. Period. 

Back to Mom Wendy not Science. How do we survive? For myself, it seemed impossible to get on a schedule and discover routine. Fitness wasn’t priority the first year of Faviana’s life because everything revolved around nursing. Which HURT. But what I could control is what I ate. It helped that the first 13 months, my daughter was allergic to dairy, eggs, soy, gluten, nuts, legumes, citrus, and seafood. I literally ate berries, sweet potatoes, fresh veggies, chicken, and ground beef. Every day. That was it! When I was allowed to add those allergens back in my diet, the scale decided to follow suit – I gained a good 10 to 15 pounds. JOY. So I had to start over. Re-evaluate what I was putting into my body – for me this time. I so easily kept a clean diet when it could affect Faviana.

Why wouldn’t I continue to help myself and keep things clean for me? Why do we end up hurting and being detrimental to ourselves? It took a bit but I took action. I knew I needed help. Disclaimer: I know the following isn’t for everyone. But I reached out to Shannon Dey with Team Bombshell, my prior competition team I joined back in 2011 after 3 years of competing in bikini with other coaches. I wasn’t getting where I needed and my body started fighting me. I needed help then most because my hormones were crashing. My most important objective at the time was feel like myself again. They did just that. Because of my hormones I was told I would have a tough time conceiving when we were gonna start trying and amazingly (and I feel truly because of the help of Bombshell) it happened literally the first month we truly tried. From there I took a break from Bombshell since I didn’t plan on competing anytime soon and the morning sickness prevented me from doing LITERALLY anything physical or eating properly. In reality I should have stayed on a plan during my pregnancy. Maybe then I wouldn’t have had such a rough one. (That will be another blog!) Regardless, my advice is to learn to know yourself and know when to ask for help. Even the best of the best have guidance. Team Bombshell has been and always will be that guidance for me. I didn’t just want them to help me. I NEEDED them to help me. I needed direction.

My body was and still is fighting me. But now I’m fighting back and fortunately I’m not alone. I have my incredible coach Gennifer Strobo supporting me along the way. Even my sleep. It’s amazing how the body works when you care and understand what’s happening. Most importantly, and I know ALL women can relate to this – when you do have the opportunity for help…LISTEN. Words aren’t spoken to fall by the wayside. These professionals get paid to help you. So listen to the goods you’re buying. It’s their job to know how the body works and learn how your body will respond. So when you feel like “tweaking” something yourself, just DON’T. Listen and take direction. And enjoy the process. For the life of me I can’t understand why it’s such a struggle to follow directions. Maybe for some it’s a control thing, but it actually can’t get easier than someone spelling it out for you. Right?! Just follow it. As for adequate rest, I don’t think any mother knows the meaning until you become an empty nester and even then, I know from my own mother – we always worry. It’s in our job description. So do what you can. Staying active provides more energy than oversleeping. Remember that the next time you want to skip some physical activity. (I do, literally 20 times a day.) And know it will pay off in the long run. THAT is worth moving my ass.

Wendy Capurso

After some research on this, I’ve come to find what I always did assume; that cravings are all in your head! I’d by lying if I said I don’t crave things on a weekly basis. Pregnant or not, majority of us crave some sort of food at one point or another. Pregnancy speaking, because of hormonal fluctuations, the cravings can vary. But cravings do not mean your body needs it! I’m sure many have heard the reasoning that your body is deficient in the nutrients from the food it’s craving, but I’m sorry to report there is no actual scientific evidence this is true. It’s a nice story to make yourself feel better about eating it, but I guarantee the women who have gained 50lb+ and still craving ice cream, are Not deficient in Calcium…or saturated Fat.

There are many reasons why the human body does what it does. We get hungry because it’s time for our body to consume food/calories. It’s survival. Cravings are what scientists consider “mind hunger”, and they’ve found that this is not necessary for survival. There are quite a few reasons linked to why we experience these sensations:

1) Memories. Many of us can associate a food to a specific time, place, event, holiday, etc. It’s something you may not even realize you’re associating. When that craving for a juicy cheeseburger and spicy curly fries pops in your mind, you may not even consider that time 10 years ago you shared that same meal with your dad at a baseball game. Not to mention foods high in fat trigger chemical releases in your brain, but I’ll get to that in a minute. My point is, we rarely (to never) crave things we’ve never had, so there is a direct link to familiar pleasures when it comes to food.

2) Seek Pleasure. There are chemicals in our brain that are released when eating fatty, high sugar foods. These chemicals trigger a reaction that cause pleasure and euphoria, the same feelings that are triggered when someone takes drugs, drinks and gambles. It’s the same feeling that keep people going back for more, to experience this pleasure over and over again. Any foods you’ve had that trigger this same reaction will trigger you again to crave that food.

3) My personal favorites: Boredom & Anxiety. Two feelings that when triggered, feel the need to do something to redirect. Who actually enjoys being bored or anxious? Different people do different things to distract themselves from this, and binge eating on ”cravings” is one of them! An easy solution to this is to decide [pre-boredom/pre-anxiety] what you will do when these sensations pop up. How will you make yourself aware that you may not in fact be hungry, you may just be trying to escape whatever is going on in that moment?

I get asked all the time about my pregnancies, “do you crave anything?” My answer is always the same, “I have cravings even when I’m not pregnant. I refuse to use pregnancy as an excuse to give in to them”. Sure, I let myself indulge in moderation, meaning a couple times a week, but the other times find a more nutritious option. If you’re like my son and craving something “crunchy”, most of us may go to something like potato chips or a big bowl of cereal. Instead, replace that with carrot sticks and a lower fat dip, or a handful of nuts. There are so many great alternatives out there now to satisfy a sweet craving, that you don’t need to turn to chocolate or ice cream to get that satisfaction. Even mixing up some chocolate protein powder can do the trick! But here’s a secret you may not know, if you wait long enough, the craving that’s haunting you will actually pass. Sometimes all you need is a little distraction and that mind hunger suddenly disappears. 

I’m a big believer on “Knowledge is Power”. The more you know, the easier it may feel to make a decision. Once you understand the reasonings behind the sensation of a craving, perhaps the choices you have can become a little bit clearer.

Darielle Singerman