From The 3 Blind Mice, To The Avengers Trinity
When last we met, we talked about the magic that is Liposomal Technology and how it applies to today’s batch of the Pro-hormones ugly step-children; 1-DHEA, 4-DHEA, and 19-Nor-DHEA. Remember that girl, or guy, in High School that was butt-ugly, awkward and shy? Remember how they use to keep to themselves, and have long hair that covered their zit infested face, and liked someone who didn’t like them back, and was mortified by the fact that that miserable bitch laughed and teased me behind my back and said I had a disgusting body!!! Remember that!???…Sorry, a little to close to home there. Anyhoo, that misfit guy/girl in High School, that ugly duckling that you remember, would one day grow up to be the studliest, most stunning, and beautiful creature when they finally hit their gorgeous sprout Post-High School/Post-College. Eat that shit Melissa, who’s fat now!??? Well the same can be said about the current Bodybuilding’s darling Pro-Hormones known as; 1-DHEA, 4-DHEA, and 19-Nor-DHEA. They were designed and put out there, but users thought them useless because you had to take such a high dose that the cost per dose wasn’t warranted! Years later, a delivery system known as “Liposomal Technology” would come along and change these lagging, ill absorbed DHEA metabolites into pro-hormone powerhouses! Kind of like the whole “ugly duckling morphing into a swan” analogy, but more so an analogy of a Prince Adam grabs the Power Sword and speaks; “BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL…”, you get the picture.
Let’s address the giant pink lemon in the room right now, the days of Super DMZ, Methylstenbolone, and off-the-storeroom-shelf pure pharmaceutical grade encapsulated Metandienone disguised as “Tribulus”, are OVER. We, the bodybuilding supplement industry cannot do that anymore. Those goddamn Feds, who would crash a Cure4Aids party because the band was to loud, like to take away all that is fun and fair in the Bodybuilding Supplement industry. All because some idiot senator was scorned by the fact that he sucked at High School baseball and had a tiny wiener, when other kids were using anabolic agents and killing the game!? Let me tell you something, that prick senator could have taken 8 tons of Super DMZ and he would STILL suck at baseball, he would still suck at getting laid, and he would still be stuck holding his tiny limp wiener in his hand! You’re still an asshole, Joe Biden! Off soapbox rant… So what happened next was that chemists needed to get creative. Because DHEA is a legal supplement, off-shoots of the hormone known as DHEA are also LEGAL supplements. Here is the genius at work, DHEA is a “master hormone” from which other hormones can be created from within the human body via enzymatic pathways. Here’s a next step conversion for you to wrap your head around; DHEA can EASILY convert to Androstenedione, which can easily convert to Testosterone/the king of muscle building hormones. The problem is that DHEA can easily convert to Estrogen too, not optimal. What did those wacky wild chemists do? They used naturally occurring metabolites of DHEA instead of DHEA itself! For example, a natural occurring metabolite of DHEA is 1-DHEA and here is where it gets anabolically delicious: 1-DHEA converts to 1-Andro, which converts to 1-Testosterone! If you are as old as I am, you’ll remember when 1-Andro was the ELITE pro-hormone on the market! No major side effects other than pure lean mass accrual! So 1-DHEA converts to 2 amazing anabolic miracles. You really can’t lose! To make it even better, the original problem of “absorption” of these DHEA metabolites, SOLVED by the sensation known as “Liposomal Technology”.
After speaking with the DHEA metabolites patent holder, Eric Marchewtiz, it has become clearer than ever; You’ll never keep pro-hormones down and out (eat a cock, Mr. Biden). The pro-hormone game is stronger than ever thanks to the fusion of 1-DHEA, 4-DHEA, and 19-NorDHEA with Liposomal Technology delivery systems! Need a “wet” bulker like the good old days of Deca from the 1980’s? No problem, we got that handled too. Back in the later part of 1990’s, Norandrostenedione and Norandrostenediol were all the rage and a POWERFUL pro-hormone that you could get right off the Supplement store shelves! Users would find from these pro-hormones, a very familiar pump and the effects of “size and strength gains”. So familiar, in fact, that they thought they were on a cycle of Deca! Alas, with the original ban of Andros/Norandros in 2004, we had to say rest in piece to the possibility of having another nandrolone converting product. Until NOW! The DHEA metabolite called 19-Nor-DHEA, is a 2 step conversion to Nandrolone. Prepare yourself for this:
How’s your mind? Blown? As well it should be, as 19-Nor-DHEA is a legitimate metabolite that will convert to Norandro-diol/Norandro-dione, which easily converts to the anabolically exquisite hormone, Nandrolone. Just take my money, NOW!
We might as well talk about the 3rd brother in question. If 1-DHEA was the lean and trim modelesque brother, throwing out that blue steel pucker, and 19-Nor-DHEA was the overly muscular and strong brother, with great hair and looked like a tank-top Mr. Olympia competitor, 4-DHEA would be…well, this brother would be pretty much be a fusion of both brothers, but with not as great of hair as 19-Nor-DHEA, and WAY hornier. Like it’s other brother’s, 4-DHEA converts to Testosterone, in 2 steps. First from 4-DHEA to Androstenedione, or, Androstenediol, and then to Testosterone. So pretty much exactly like a cycle of Testosterone, you can expect huge strength gains, massive pumps, lean mass gains, an aromatization reaction into Estrogen (which explains the horniness) and a reduction reaction into DHT (which explains the body hair, and the intermittent boners like a 14-year-old boy) depending on personal biochemistry, of course. Biden may have taken away our “designer steroids”, but the pro-hormone game is stronger than ever! And the best part, they are all considered supplements because they are DHEA offshoots, completely legal, and non-toxic to the liver **cough-Anadrol-cough**.
The good days of super-supplements are NOT over, my friends. The Avengers Trinity of Pro-Hormone Power are here to stay. And as Mr. Trump would say: they will grab you by your, um, hair? And lead you to muscular greatness (disclaimer: with correct nutrition and training). In closing, Biden can go to hell. Melissa too.
“Life is too short to be small, bro.” ~ Mighty Mike Quinn
~by Vijay Puri BS DC