Yup. I’m that mom. Just deal with it. Ask me for help. Don’t glare at me. Don’t wish I gave my kid Benadryl that won’t put them to sleep, but only wakes them up more. Don’t judge me with your stares and eye rolling. Yeah, I see you. Between my kids flailing arms and wails of over tiredness, I see you. Well guess what. I DONT FEEL BAD. Nope. And let me tell you why….
While I’m busy reeling in my kid, you travel by yourself. Or maybe with your spouse. Maybe you have kids and are secretly thanking God you don’t have them with you or your single saying to yourself you will never be me… well, I can tell ya, you will be. I don’t feel bad, because I’m too tired and weighed down with stuff to feel bad. Your eye rolling is a stress I just don’t have the time or care to take on. Traveling with a kid is hard. Let alone more than one. To the parents that do it with more than one, I praise you. Hell, I’d hug you and tell you how amazing you are if you were in front of me. Between my backpack and diaper bag and cooler and Minnie Mouse doll and stroller, blanket, travel ‘boppy’ and sweatshirt, I don’t know how much more I can hold. Did I mention I am BY MYSELF? Oh, and let’s not forget meal prep… nice portioned little meals stuffed into baggies in my over flowing cooler, with bottles and snacks for baby (enough to last a day if a flight gets cancelled or whatever). Then, on top of those nice baggies I have to remember to eat them every few hours while trying to hold an almost two-year-old on my lap on a puddle jumper airplane and everything under the seat or above.
Let’s talk about dieting while traveling as well…. yes, as we walk through the airport by at least 10 different Starbucks and Peet’s Coffee and Dunkin Donuts in every terminal. Ignore those fresh holiday pumpkin flavors calling your name and that caffeine fix you needed since 4am since you have been up. Let’s not forget the 4 hour layover, as well. You have all of your food with you and all you want is that damn cookie the size of your hand that will cost you $4.50 to buy. Don’t do it. Just don’t. Because not only will the fact that paying $4.50 be absolutely ridiculous, but the guilt of eating it AFTER the fact will just make you more irritated than you already are. Not while eating it, because let’s be honest, it will be delicious, but after, when you realize you didn’t pack your food for nothing and eating a cookie won’t justify or make your day any better. Trust me on that. It will only make you feel worse. It’s also one more thing you do NOT need to carry because let’s be real, one more item and they will consider your cookie an extra item that needs to be checked. Don’t weigh yourself down with the guilt. At least if you’re going to get a cookie or have that indulgence, wait till your with people you want to be with or save that cookie for when you get where you are going, draw a hot bath when the kids are asleep and then go to town. Pick and choose when you want to indulge. It really makes all the difference in the world to how you enjoy it.
When you pack for a trip, whether it be car or train or bus or whatever, always plan ahead. I personally cannot for the life of me pack last minute. It stresses me out to no end, I ALWAYS forget something and I ALWAYS over-pack. I over-pack regardless, but at least when I start ahead of time I go through my things at least two times and remove stuff I realize I really don’t need. Lists are my best friend. For this last trip I planned for the plane as if it was a whole trip in itself. I had a total of 6 flights to prepare for. Three different days of travel, all with layovers from one hour to four hours. I knew my daughter wouldn’t nap for these so I had to prepare. Here’s my list of necessities ….
-Mini DVD player with at least 3 dvds.
-Coloring book she has never seen before
-One toy aka doll she has never seen before
-Snacks for baby: pretzels, crackers, blueberries, cheese, puffs, milk, and 2 lollipops for emergency melt downs. Yes, yes I prepare for that.
-My meals: which for travel I do hard boiled eggs. They travel best for long travel days, rice cakes, blueberries, kale chips I make myself. (Baked Kale with a little sea salt.)
-I always keep at least one extra set of clothes for baby and me on me in case a flight gets cancelled and we are stuck overnight. I prep as if I may not get to where we are going for at least one day. I’ve had things happen too many times that flights get cancelled or delayed and I’ve been stuck overnight in airports more than I like to admit. I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Traveling in itself is stressful. Then add kids to the equation. It doesn’t have to be terrible. But at times things are beyond our control. So again, please excuse me if my kid kicks you by accident or starts to wail. She is only expressing how I truly feel. Parenting is hard. Disciplining is hard. Then combine the two in public and its double as hard as well as you know your being judged. So, I say this to you, to the moms who travel with kids, take a breath, hold your head up, and know you got this. If I see you in the airport or wherever and your kid cries, I always have extra puffs and lollipops with me. And if I really see you struggling, I’ll buy you that cookie.
xoxo
Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso
These last two weeks have been very long for me. Actually more like this past month. I started a new training plan which involved more time in the gym and more time away from my daughter. It required me to tend to my house more than normal and make sure everything was clean as I knew I had family coming to visit soon and a spare room that still had boxes and things to be unpacked from when we moved. (Yes, still sitting there.) I had to spend time on preparing meals two times a week that took about 4-5 hours each time. To top it off I had 2 failed sleep studies which I still have to take one more and then I just quit lol. Let’s not forget appointments and Dr visits from having a sick kid once again! Anyways, all of this has made my time with my daughter feel limited. Each night I rock her to sleep I stare at her and realize how each day she gets a little bigger. New words are added to her vocabulary and I wonder where my sweet baby has gone as I hold this growing toddler who I love more than life itself. I dont want to miss this. This time I will never get back. This time that goes faster than I ever thought and one day she wont be my little girl curled up in my lap and it brings tears to my eyes. So for now I’ll stare at this tiny ever growing face and remember this….
Everyday, no matter what happens or who my daughter is with, when she sees me she stops and runs to me yelling “Mommy!” with the biggest hug because she missed me. She loves me. We need to as Moms (and Dads who read this) not be so hard on ourselves. We need to trust that what we are doing is right for our kids and not worry about what anyone else says or does. There will be times that no matter what we do someone else will disagree with our method or think they can do it better or just plain think we are wrong. Guess what, your not. If it’s what you feel is best then there is no wrong answer. There is no who did it better. It’s about what is right for YOUR family and guess what, the wonderful part is WHO F*%*ing CARES what others think!!! That’s the best part!! When you become a parent, you instantly become your own boss and no one above you will ever tell you what’s right or wrong. Your in charge. It’s a HUGE undertaking but absolutely the most rewarding experience one can ever have. It’s the most beautiful, exhausting, mind blowing, 24/7 time consuming, mentally draining, under appreciated, under valued and physically demanding job you will ever know and it lasts the rest of your life…… incredible right? (And a little scary lol) it’s also the BEST job I have EVER had…. period.
I read the poem below in a forum and had to share it here as it says it better than I could ever do…
“When we are worrying over whether or not they are eating right, eating enough, or if they even ate at all today.
They are loving us.
When we wonder if we are too hard on them or not disciplining them enough.
They are loving us.
When they give us extra cuddles or throw the biggest tantrum ever.
They are loving us.
When we are not sure if we held them too much today or didn’t hold them enough.
They are loving us.
When we can’t always be the fun and exciting mom because the house needs cleaned and life is chaotic.
They are loving us.
When we are trying to be present at home, but work is weighing on our minds.
They are loving us.
When we feel like everything is going wrong.
They are loving us.”
-Sara Bigelow Myser
Remember this, at the end of the day, nothing matters but your family. Your little ones who look up to you and think your the sun moon and stars all combined into one. You answer to no one but the Man Above, so release that tension from your shoulders, take a deep breath, and enjoy this little glimpse of time because it will all be gone before you know it and be just a wonderful memory.
xoxo
Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso
]]>This has been one of those weeks. The last two weeks actually! You try everything to avoid it and push past but it just gets the better of you. What is it you ask? It’s the seasonal spread the germs sickness that attacks your whole family!!
My daughter is getting over being sick and I was sick before that. Last week I felt like death. Trying to force meals was excruciating. Then Wednesday I felt better only to start a cough on Friday which is still making my lungs feel like I can’t breathe and winded. Walking hurts. What do you do? I know this is where your body is screaming to get rest but it’s beyond hard when my husband is out of town and then comes home and is sick himself. Now baby is sick and just when I thought I was better BAM, I had a rough night feeling icky myself. So what is a Mom to do?
Stay positive and doing as little as possible!! (Yeah right you say as you roll your eyes lol) Staying on my meal plan is what I aim for when I can’t get the workouts in. Believe me, the last thing I want to do is choke down salmon when I’m nauseous. But, it’s mind over matter, just do it. And if you absolutely can’t, then supplement a protein source that’s easier like eggs.
This week I give credit to all single moms who do this alone with no help. I have a new respect. It’s definitely hard. With My husband traveling so much for work sometimes it truly stinks and I absolutely miss him not here. Especially helping in the mornings. I’ve come to realize how nice it is for him to do that. So what do you do when it’s all on you! I wish I had the answer for that because there is no right answer. You do what you must. The laundry that’s waiting to be folded and dishes waiting to be done at the end of the day aren’t going anywhere so don’t stress the little things. Those are little things. Focus on your health first and foremost. Don’t get me wrong either, if your body is screaming REST, then REST!!! Second, try and create a plan of action. If you have a childcare in the gym or a friend that will help an hour, utilize them!! For me it took me the longest to let go of control and utilize the help I am lucky to have around me. If you don’t have that option then create a home routine, when baby is sleeping or before they wake up. Thirty minutes is all you really need to feel and make a difference. Believe it or not no matter how tired you are, when you add physical activity to your day you will feel better and have more energy. And I’m telling you this as someone who has a toddler that does NOT sleep through the night so I get it trust me!! Do a stroller workout if needed. (Post below) if you want results you will find a way, people who don’t will always make an excuse. Don’t be the “I’ll do it later” person. Be the “I will do it now” person and you will thank yourself in the end when you look in the mirror and see the results you only wish you didn’t wait so long to get!
STROLLER WORKOUT
Walk -5 min
Walking lunges – 50
Light jog – 5 min
Walk -5 min
Walking lunges -50
Light jog -5 min
Walk – 5 min
This is roughly 30-40 min depending how long the lunges take you. Go at your pace. If you walk 10 min run for 1 min and do 10 lunges as a beginner that is totally fine! Work your way up! Just start somewhere. No one ever regrets the workout they did, only the workout they didn’t do!
Now go get it!!
XOXO
Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso
I also knew I couldn’t do it alone. And that’s OK to admit. Find yourself a good coach.
What is a good coach/mentor to you?
To me, a good coach makes time to listen and communicate. I know I can expect a response in a reasonable time. (No waiting anxiously for weeks for a reply. A good coach is one who won’t allow you failure. It’s THEIR opinion you come to respect. As much as you want it for you, you want it for them,and if you drop the ball, you feel like you let two people down. Their excitement is your excitement. Their motivation is your motivation. Every day, I want to not only make myself proud, but also make my coach proud. I push harder knowing she is there,pushing me. And I know as bad as I want it,she may be the only other person that wants it more for me than I do….
The quote below is a long-time favorite:
“Life’s best coaches are those who believe in you and your potential, sometimes even before you do.”
Remember this when you look for someone who is going to be in charge of changing your lifestyle.
Disclaimer: There are as many good coaches as there are bad ones, so make sure you DO YOUR RESEARCH on the best fit for you. My perfect fit is Team Bombshell with Mama Bombshell, Shannon Dey, and my personal coach, Gennifer Strobo. You have to do what’s right for you, and sometimes that requires trial and error. Do not be afraid to say what you want. You pay an expert to help you so before you go and spend hard-earned money makesure you are willing to also invest your energy and time, and sweat. (Lots of sweat.) At the end of the day, YOU are still the one that must follow instructions. No one can make you get out of bed, food prep, or go to the gym. But a good coach sure can make you feel accountable! No matter how you do it – self-motivation or hiring help, DO IT FOR YOU!
Wendy Capurso
]]>Fast forward to days like today, when your toddler is sick—throwing up, unable to sleep, helpless, and just miserable. THIS is where those prepared meals come in handy. Cold food = second nature. Step 1: Franticly pull Tupperware from cooler or fridge. Step 2: Shovel down throat while driving screaming child to doctor. (Using fingers because forgot silverware. Washing down with gallon of water.)
And gym who? Days like today, my only option is breaking a speedy sweat outside of her room while she sleeps. (I can’t go far with her sick, upset, and waking so often.) Jump rope and bands, check. Minute 2 of band work: My poor baby is crying from what I would imagine is the world’s most painful earache. Minutes 3 through 16: I snuggle the little one to sleep. Minutes 17 through 19: Baby pump in my shoulders. Minute 20: Baby screaming in the bedroom. It’s hard. But somehow, you can (you will, you must) find a way. This is the best paragraph I’ve read in a while:
You’re right. It is easier to eat pizza then to run on the treadmill. It’s easier to turn to ice cream rather than people for supporters. It’s easier to say ‘f*** it, I give up’ than to say ‘f*** this, I can do it’. So you know what? I’m not going to sit here and tell you day after day you can do this. If you don’t believe you can, then you can’t. That’s the honest truth. You need to do this for you. And if you don’t want it enough, then you sure as hell won’t achieve it. So take the easy way out and remain unhealthy and continue to gain weight because you can’t realize you are the only one hurting yourself. I didn’t say it would be easy. I said it would be worth it.
Amen. No one said it would be easy. And sometimes it just isn’t feasible. Yes, things happen that are out of your control but there will ALWAYS be something. So, if you make excuses for every “something,” you will never, ever get there. I refuse to continue this cycle as a mother. I’ve been stuck there—full of excuses—for the last five years, and I don’t enjoy traveling that sad, lonely road. I’m tired of the excuses. Of the somethings. No more. I will find a way. My daughter’s health will always come first, but my own is equally as important. I will find ways to stay on track because I’m tired of the excuses. And I’m raising a woman who won’t let excuses rule her. Aren’t you?
In one of the next few blogs I’ll write about food prep to help with those who may need an example. Stay tuned!!
Wendy Capurso
]]>First, I’d like to apologize to my body. Sorry for taking advantage of the hours I used to sleep and think it wasn’t enough. As a mom, non-parents who say “I’m tired” makes me laugh. Unless you’re in the military or another job that requires 48-hour shifts and then STILL get only interrupted chances for sleep, you don’t know what “I’m tired” is. Imagine a nursing, wailing newborn, up every 2 hours for a MINIMUM of 45 minutes and then back to sleep, only to wake 2 hours later. And on continues this 24/7 cycle. It’s incomprehensible.
Now that I have you. Incorporate fitness into this schedule. I feel like this has to be why doctors suggest 4 to 8 weeks before resuming activity – your sleep schedule alone hinders any recovery you would need from your workouts. And you would need that opportunity for rest. Which again, is nonexistent.
Now, fast forward. (As I’m writing this my daughter is napping, which I should be doing as well, but can’t because I can’t seem to sleep – shocker.) How can we incorporate exercise on such little sleep? Sleep is when your body recovers. If you Google “sleep and health,” it says:
“Sleep plays an important role in your physical health. For example, sleep is involved in healing and repair of your heart and blood vessels. Ongoing sleep deficiency is linked to an increased risk of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke.”
If you miss one night of sleep, your blood pressure the next day is elevated. To sleep is to repair. HGH is released by the brain into the blood and initiates the restorative function of sleep. HGH released during the night is released in the first few sleep cycles and research has shown that sleep deprivation can throw this off and eliminate the HGH bursts we get. We need this as it’s released and used by our muscles to initiate recovery and re-energize our bodies. Not to mention the loss of REM sleep when you don’t go through each stage of sleep cycle. (Four to be exact.) Basically, the body suffers. Period.
Back to Mom Wendy not Science. How do we survive? For myself, it seemed impossible to get on a schedule and discover routine. Fitness wasn’t priority the first year of Faviana’s life because everything revolved around nursing. Which HURT. But what I could control is what I ate. It helped that the first 13 months, my daughter was allergic to dairy, eggs, soy, gluten, nuts, legumes, citrus, and seafood. I literally ate berries, sweet potatoes, fresh veggies, chicken, and ground beef. Every day. That was it! When I was allowed to add those allergens back in my diet, the scale decided to follow suit – I gained a good 10 to 15 pounds. JOY. So I had to start over. Re-evaluate what I was putting into my body – for me this time. I so easily kept a clean diet when it could affect Faviana.
Why wouldn’t I continue to help myself and keep things clean for me? Why do we end up hurting and being detrimental to ourselves? It took a bit but I took action. I knew I needed help. Disclaimer: I know the following isn’t for everyone. But I reached out to Shannon Dey with Team Bombshell, my prior competition team I joined back in 2011 after 3 years of competing in bikini with other coaches. I wasn’t getting where I needed and my body started fighting me. I needed help then most because my hormones were crashing. My most important objective at the time was feel like myself again. They did just that. Because of my hormones I was told I would have a tough time conceiving when we were gonna start trying and amazingly (and I feel truly because of the help of Bombshell) it happened literally the first month we truly tried. From there I took a break from Bombshell since I didn’t plan on competing anytime soon and the morning sickness prevented me from doing LITERALLY anything physical or eating properly. In reality I should have stayed on a plan during my pregnancy. Maybe then I wouldn’t have had such a rough one. (That will be another blog!) Regardless, my advice is to learn to know yourself and know when to ask for help. Even the best of the best have guidance. Team Bombshell has been and always will be that guidance for me. I didn’t just want them to help me. I NEEDED them to help me. I needed direction.
My body was and still is fighting me. But now I’m fighting back and fortunately I’m not alone. I have my incredible coach Gennifer Strobo supporting me along the way. Even my sleep. It’s amazing how the body works when you care and understand what’s happening. Most importantly, and I know ALL women can relate to this – when you do have the opportunity for help…LISTEN. Words aren’t spoken to fall by the wayside. These professionals get paid to help you. So listen to the goods you’re buying. It’s their job to know how the body works and learn how your body will respond. So when you feel like “tweaking” something yourself, just DON’T. Listen and take direction. And enjoy the process. For the life of me I can’t understand why it’s such a struggle to follow directions. Maybe for some it’s a control thing, but it actually can’t get easier than someone spelling it out for you. Right?! Just follow it. As for adequate rest, I don’t think any mother knows the meaning until you become an empty nester and even then, I know from my own mother – we always worry. It’s in our job description. So do what you can. Staying active provides more energy than oversleeping. Remember that the next time you want to skip some physical activity. (I do, literally 20 times a day.) And know it will pay off in the long run. THAT is worth moving my ass.
Wendy Capurso
]]>Guess what? That IS me. I have to get reacquainted with this person in the mirror. More importantly, I need to whip her butt into shape because my 10-years-ago self is screaming, “WTF! I’m still here!”
I know at some point or another, we all have questioned, ridiculed, yelled at ourselves. Admittedly, I probably do this at least 4 times a day. 1. In the morning while brushing my teeth. 2. In my car while touching up my no makeup, mess of hair pre-gym look. 3. After my shower, towel-clad and dreading the thought of someone seeing me. 4. And back to the PM teeth brushing. AT LEAST FOUR TIMES. Every day. Yet every day, we seem to do the same things. Over and over and over. How are we working towards change? How are we working to get back that 10-years-ago self?
Well, before all else, my attitude while judging that reflection must change. Remember my self-worth and self-power. Remember this: “If you look past the mirror, you’re looking too far.”
My name is Wendy Lee Capurso. I’m 36 years young, New England born, living in Tennessee. Job: Stay-at-home Mama. My daughter Faviana is 19 months going on 15 years (seriously she’s growing too fast). Husband of 3 years, going on what feels like 30 (love you, Craig). 2 LBDs (little black dogs).
Physchology major in college, medical device sales rep post-college. (P.S. Psych studies stilll relevant and kicking – my girlfriends come to ME for therapy!)
Fitness. I’ve been around the sport and industry since 2003 and in love since Day 1. I competed NPC Bikini 2009 to 2011. After a wicked battle with hypothyroidism and anemia, I needed to give my body a break. It’s been quite the rollercoaster since.
Since having my daughter in September 2015, I’ve decided to pursue fitness again. It’s in my blood. I haven’t achieved the level I know I can – so amongst the many, many, many, start overs I have had, this is my FINAL one. I’ve started over. Parenthood has taught me the importance of setting an example for my children. I am the first woman to whom they will compare every other woman. Isn’t that an awesome responsibility? I need to be a mother – a woman – that makes them proud. I need to make me proud.
My blog is my place for sharing my more personal thoughts about fitness and parenting. I’m here because in spite of my struggles and setbacks, I still refuse to give up. Sure, a pint of ice cream fixes a few things here and there. But that’s not who I represent. I’m here to share my stories of failure and journey back to fitness – to self success. Why? So that you – reading my words right now – know that you are not alone. I am here. We are here. We are the voice in your head that understands what you may be going through when no one else does. The Mommy’s Corner is here to help in any way, for any journey, because collectively, we have experience, knowledge, and love to share.
I can’t wait to share with all of you and hear what YOU have to say. Stay tuned and thank you so much for joining me!
Wendy Capurso
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