Whether you’re preparing for the Mr. Olympia or tightening up following pregnancy, back day is always a big day in anyone’s workout routine. Inside today’s training video we get an inside look into Darielle Singerman’s brutal back workout with her coach and Master Trainer Neil Hill. You may know Neil as IFBB 212 Future HOFer Flex Lewis’ coach, but he’s now living in Boca Raton, Florida and is leading the charge in Dari’s post-pregnancy transformation. Watch Neil put Dari through several back exercises including dumbbell bent over rows, wide-grip lat pulldowns, seated rows, and more. Learn all of the tricks of the trade from one of the most respected coaches in the industry.
]]>Right now, I want to challenge all of you out there who have been putting off losing those last 10lbs, struggling with the thought of changing your lifestyle, or just having a hard time in general with reaching your fitness goals. I challenge you to stick with me, a mom of 3, on a mission to lose these last 10-15lb of pregnancy weight. It’s not easy, and there are days and nights where I want to give in to the bowl of ice cream I promised my 5-year-old for finishing his dinner, give in to one of the popsicles I’m spoiling my 2-year-old with after his tonsillectomy or skip cardio because I rather get into bed at 8pm. I’m a real mom with real life mom struggles, but I don’t let these deter me from reaching my goals. There’s a difference between obsession and commitment. Obsession with fitness is not a possibility for me since I’m pretty obsessed with my kids (and hubby, won’t leave you hanging!), and I refuse to share that. Being committed is more than possible as there are many types of activities, relationships and ideas we have the ability to become committed to. Why not alter that mindset to commit ourselves to bettering our body and mind?
I don’t lie to myself, I know that jumping right back into the workout routine is not as difficult for me mentally as it may be for someone who’s brand new to the scene. I’ve been doing this for almost 15 years, consistently for almost 10 years. Notice what I said there. That’s over 5 years of “experience” in the gym until I truly became consistent and part of my lifestyle. None of this is an overnight process, for majority of people it takes time. It’s about choosing that moment to begin and refusing to give yourself a reason to quit. Find a goal and stay focused.
The best way to choose a goal is by the good old’ acronym SMART.
Specific – Clear & understandable. What, When, Where, Why & How.
Measurable – Add a number. Measure your progress with numbers and/or pictures.
Attainable – Not too high, not too low. Making your goal too hard can be discouraging and too easy can kill the motivation. Find something you feel can be achieved.
Relevant – Realistic. This is personal to you and your life. It’s all about what YOU can commit to, not someone else.
Time – End points, deadlines, whatever you want to call it. We all need to see a light at the end of the tunnel!
Now it’s YOUR time. If you’ve been waiting for a moment to make the change or get motivated, consider this your sign to start NOW. Sometimes you need a team to accomplish something great, so let’s do this together.
I began my post-partum transformation at 145b, with 15lb to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m currently 3 weeks into my diet/weight loss training and while my weight has not budged much, I do notice and feel differences in my physique already. I do think numbers can tell you a lot, but sometimes it should not be the numbers on the scale, but possibly the numbers on a measuring tape and numbers in your clothing size. While weight loss should include some scale numbers to drop, it’s not always going to drop to the number you expect if you’re training smart and putting on healthy muscle.
With that being said, it is normal to feel frustrated when you’re not seeing the scale move, as I currently am. I have been dieting for 3 weeks now, doing 20 minutes of cardio every day for 2 weeks and my weight hasn’t really moved. Something I must remind myself is that at 10 weeks post-partum, my body and hormones are still adjusting to not being pregnant. It takes time and my body has always come to a plateau in those first couple of months no matter what I do. This is when patience really is so important because our body will get back to “normal” in time. Pregnancy is 9 months, so recovery will be just as long! However, this is not a reason to stop working towards your goal because the body will click one day and start responding. This is based off of my last 2 experiences post pregnancy.
Before I get into the specifics of what I’m doing, I just want to state that I am in no way shape or form allowing my diet and training to become priority over the love and care of my children. There are women out there (I’ve seen it on the internet) that feel the moms who are working to get back in shape/be healthy are taking away precious time from their little one. I actually wrote a blog about this and how it is possible to balance the two. Click here to read more on that.
I have run into potential obstacles that have caused me to alter schedules, work around it or just cancel training sessions all together. For instance, my 2-year-old had to get his tonsils out earlier this week and we had to stay overnight in the hospital. I cleared out my entire week in preparation of his recovery and did not think I would get in any time to train. However, I did prepare meals and take them with me to the hospital. The diet, which is very important for weight loss, does not have to be sacrificed. Let’s be real, we have to eat anyways. Truthfully, as a mom I find it easier to pre-prepare meals anyways just to not lose our mind. I stayed on track, did not even give the gym a second thought and when I saw how well he was doing, I snuck in my workout while he napped. What I did was PREPARE. I went into the week with expectations that I would not get to train and kept my focus on the diet portion. That made the week a win-win for all of us. I spent every waking hour with my little one recovering (who happens to be a rock star with pain) and quickly got in a workout when I could.
Diet
Diet is important to keep in mind that you don’t want to cut calories too soon. Typically, it’s better to start off with some sort of base number. Unless you have been consistently logging everything you eat, you can’t assume how many calories you’ve been taking in. Therefore, it’s not safe to assume that you should automatically start at 1000 calories. Begin with a solid number that you feel comfortable taking calories away from. If you start at 1200 and have to take calories away once you hit a plateau, you’re going to start running on lower calories than I’d assume anyone would like. The same applies for cardio. Preferably you’ll want to start off with little to no cardio so you can see what kind of changes you can make with minimal amount. Cardio would be the other adjustment to make once you hit a plateau.
I am currently taking in 1600 calories, and it’s hard for me to even finish some of them! Everyone has different methods of dieting that works for them as far as food sources. Some require the ability to eat what they want as long as it “fits their macros”. I personally enjoy eating whole food sources that don’t require a guessing game and constant logging. As a mom of three, I just don’t got time for that! Rather than picking apart the macros of a pizza and hoping I’m getting what I’m calculating, I prefer to get my protein from meats, eggs, fish, etc. and my carbs from rice, potatoes, oatmeal, cream of rice. Fats will be from oils, nuts, avocado or red meat. Whether I write down the meals for myself or someone else creates a diet for me, having it on paper to visually know what I’ll be eating keeps the guessing out of it and preparation easier.
Cardio
Cardio began with no cardio at all and added in 20 minutes of steady state cardio daily after the first week. Steady state meaning the same intensity throughout the 20 minutes. After two weeks of doing this, I increased the intensity within the 20 minutes to alternating levels (HIIT). So, I am not adding more time, just making my body burn more calories within those 20 minutes! Think of it as a “sprint”, even if you’re not actually sprinting. On the elliptical (we have one at the house) I will speed up very fast for 30-40 seconds and recover to normal pace for 60-90 seconds.
Supplements
Supplements include the standard multivitamin, omega 3 & various vitamins for immune support.
On heavier days, my pre-workout of choice is 1/2 scoop of Total War 30 minutes before my workout or Double Tap fat burner.
If I don’t take a pre-workout, I will sip Breach Ballistic during my workout for aminos plus the energy.
Post workout I always take 1 scoop of Isotope protein powder (mixed with water). I will also take Isotope if I am on the run or don’t have my meat prepped and need a protein source for a meal.
Before bed I take 2 caps of Silencer, a stimulant-free fat burner, to maximize my fat burning while I sleep!
Training
Training has included a 5-day weight training split, training each body part on its own, legs and back trained twice a week. Throughout the series I will document my workouts whether it be via writing or video. Video documentation will be a mix of instructional and entertainment for motivational purposes. To start this off, I will list off a typical back workout which will be shortly followed with the video version of this. Right now, we are focusing on higher volume meaning high reps. I’ve typically stayed in the 6-15 rep range but I am now being pushed to go to as many as 30+ reps. Getting out of your comfort zone is the first step to change and this is definitely out of mine! The main point to drive home from my workouts lately is when you begin to feel that uncomfortable burn where you want to stop, do another 10 reps.
Seated Machine Row
Lying Back Pull Down’s
Bent Over Dumbbell Row
Straight Arm Pull Down
Straight Bar Cable Bicep Curl
I have begun my transformation strong. If anything, it’s been a great beginning to get me mentally back in the swing of things. After taking a couple months off towards the end of the pregnancy and post birth, I was getting comfortable not working out for the first time in almost 10 years. Literally forcing myself back into the gym for my own sanity was my only option. That first workout sucked. But every workout would get easier and easier, mentally and physically. With a newborn on one arm, a 2 and 5-year-old on the other, I am gaining back not only my strength but my confidence as a mom, wife and woman in fitness.
]]>Throughout my entire life, fitness always played an important role as I was an athlete in high school and fell in love with the gym early on. Before I got pregnant with my 2nd child, Jenna, I was training twice a day; lifting in the morning and learning jujitsu at night. I was in the best shape of my life.
Once I became pregnant, I thought I could continue to stay fit. Unfortunately, morning sickness was just not in the morning for me as I was sick all day, every day until 30 weeks! It was a very difficult time. I knew after Jenna was born I would have to set a goal to get back to where I was, mentally and physically. I then was approached by a good friend of mine who told me she was going to run the half marathon and asked if I wanted to train for it too. I knew I would only have 10 weeks to train and as someone who never ran over a mile and a half in their life, I knew that if I was going to do it, it wasn’t going to be easy!!
So Jenna was born, I was 2 week postpartum and it clicked. I WILL be running the half marathon in October. I found a training program and began to run. The first couple of runs were mentally exhausting. I was used to excelling in anything fitness and now I was struggling. I couldn’t run my first mile without stopping, numerous times. Mentally I was ready to get back to the old Jess, but physically my body was telling me to take it slow. I had to remind myself that I just had my daughter 2 weeks ago, via c-section and that pushing my body too quickly would just result in injury. So I followed my training plan, increased my nutrition and included protein shakes and BCAAs for my recovery. I am now 3 weeks out from my first half marathon and running 10 miles for my long runs. I have two children (my son Blake is almost 5 and my daughter Jenna is 2 months), work part time from home, and a wife. It sure as hell is not easy, but I am determined and motivated to cross that finish line in October!
How I train:
To get myself back in action after pregnancy, I started slow. Building up my run/walk pace into a consistent run pace as I felt stronger and my wind came back to me!
During the week, I do three shorter runs, between 3-6 miles. They have built up over the past 6 weeks and will stay between 4-5 miles for my last two weeks.
On Saturdays or Sunday’s (depending on my schedule) I go for my long runs. I’ve added a mile every week leading up to the race, it hasn’t been easy but these days motivate me to keep pushing hard! Since I only had 8 weeks to prepare post C-section I started my first week with 6 miles, and most recently had 12.
Here’s an example of my first week, and most recent week (week 6)!
Week 1:
Monday-3 Miles
Wednesday-4 Miles
Friday– 3 Miles
Sunday– 6 Miles
Week 6
Monday-5 Miles
Wednesday-6 Miles
Friday-5 Miles
Sunday- 12 Miles
For my nutrition I follow a basic template I’ve used in the past. I realized I needed to add more calories and variety to keep up with breastfeeding so I increased it a bit (about 500cal). I also have a free meal if I feel I need it since I’ve never run like this before!
I add in my basic supplements to make sure my recovery is as best as it can be. I get all my Favorite Redcon1 goodies from my husbands store American Nutrition Center Avon.
Pre Run: 1 scoop Total War Blue Raspberry
During run: 1 scoop Breach Sour Apple
Post run: I scoop Vanilla Isotope (I also absolutely LOVE this with oatmeal for a quick breakfast before running my 4 year old to pre school!”
On days after my long runs I might add extras scoops of my Breach to help me reduce that soreness from extra miles!
– Jessica Blank
@jess_ann1913
Yup. I’m that mom. Just deal with it. Ask me for help. Don’t glare at me. Don’t wish I gave my kid Benadryl that won’t put them to sleep, but only wakes them up more. Don’t judge me with your stares and eye rolling. Yeah, I see you. Between my kids flailing arms and wails of over tiredness, I see you. Well guess what. I DONT FEEL BAD. Nope. And let me tell you why….
While I’m busy reeling in my kid, you travel by yourself. Or maybe with your spouse. Maybe you have kids and are secretly thanking God you don’t have them with you or your single saying to yourself you will never be me… well, I can tell ya, you will be. I don’t feel bad, because I’m too tired and weighed down with stuff to feel bad. Your eye rolling is a stress I just don’t have the time or care to take on. Traveling with a kid is hard. Let alone more than one. To the parents that do it with more than one, I praise you. Hell, I’d hug you and tell you how amazing you are if you were in front of me. Between my backpack and diaper bag and cooler and Minnie Mouse doll and stroller, blanket, travel ‘boppy’ and sweatshirt, I don’t know how much more I can hold. Did I mention I am BY MYSELF? Oh, and let’s not forget meal prep… nice portioned little meals stuffed into baggies in my over flowing cooler, with bottles and snacks for baby (enough to last a day if a flight gets cancelled or whatever). Then, on top of those nice baggies I have to remember to eat them every few hours while trying to hold an almost two-year-old on my lap on a puddle jumper airplane and everything under the seat or above.
Let’s talk about dieting while traveling as well…. yes, as we walk through the airport by at least 10 different Starbucks and Peet’s Coffee and Dunkin Donuts in every terminal. Ignore those fresh holiday pumpkin flavors calling your name and that caffeine fix you needed since 4am since you have been up. Let’s not forget the 4 hour layover, as well. You have all of your food with you and all you want is that damn cookie the size of your hand that will cost you $4.50 to buy. Don’t do it. Just don’t. Because not only will the fact that paying $4.50 be absolutely ridiculous, but the guilt of eating it AFTER the fact will just make you more irritated than you already are. Not while eating it, because let’s be honest, it will be delicious, but after, when you realize you didn’t pack your food for nothing and eating a cookie won’t justify or make your day any better. Trust me on that. It will only make you feel worse. It’s also one more thing you do NOT need to carry because let’s be real, one more item and they will consider your cookie an extra item that needs to be checked. Don’t weigh yourself down with the guilt. At least if you’re going to get a cookie or have that indulgence, wait till your with people you want to be with or save that cookie for when you get where you are going, draw a hot bath when the kids are asleep and then go to town. Pick and choose when you want to indulge. It really makes all the difference in the world to how you enjoy it.
When you pack for a trip, whether it be car or train or bus or whatever, always plan ahead. I personally cannot for the life of me pack last minute. It stresses me out to no end, I ALWAYS forget something and I ALWAYS over-pack. I over-pack regardless, but at least when I start ahead of time I go through my things at least two times and remove stuff I realize I really don’t need. Lists are my best friend. For this last trip I planned for the plane as if it was a whole trip in itself. I had a total of 6 flights to prepare for. Three different days of travel, all with layovers from one hour to four hours. I knew my daughter wouldn’t nap for these so I had to prepare. Here’s my list of necessities ….
-Mini DVD player with at least 3 dvds.
-Coloring book she has never seen before
-One toy aka doll she has never seen before
-Snacks for baby: pretzels, crackers, blueberries, cheese, puffs, milk, and 2 lollipops for emergency melt downs. Yes, yes I prepare for that.
-My meals: which for travel I do hard boiled eggs. They travel best for long travel days, rice cakes, blueberries, kale chips I make myself. (Baked Kale with a little sea salt.)
-I always keep at least one extra set of clothes for baby and me on me in case a flight gets cancelled and we are stuck overnight. I prep as if I may not get to where we are going for at least one day. I’ve had things happen too many times that flights get cancelled or delayed and I’ve been stuck overnight in airports more than I like to admit. I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Traveling in itself is stressful. Then add kids to the equation. It doesn’t have to be terrible. But at times things are beyond our control. So again, please excuse me if my kid kicks you by accident or starts to wail. She is only expressing how I truly feel. Parenting is hard. Disciplining is hard. Then combine the two in public and its double as hard as well as you know your being judged. So, I say this to you, to the moms who travel with kids, take a breath, hold your head up, and know you got this. If I see you in the airport or wherever and your kid cries, I always have extra puffs and lollipops with me. And if I really see you struggling, I’ll buy you that cookie.
xoxo
Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso
One week post birth, a close friend/athlete of Redcon1 (Dallas McCarver) passed away, which was a major shock to us all and really hit us hard. Making the decision to leave the baby for one night to attend his funeral out of state was not easy, but felt it was something I needed to do. Two weeks later we get hit with the news of a possible Category 5 hurricane (Irma) making its way directly to us. Aaron (who is a Katrina survivor) immediately wanted to plan for an evacuation. Although I wanted to fight it at first, I eventually became aware that we had no other choice. We didn’t have a generator for our home and attempting to stay through a hurricane of that magnitude would not be the wisest decision with a 5 year old, 2 year old and 3 week old. Through a ridiculously long and eventful/torturous journey to get out of south Florida, we made our way to New Orleans and back home after 6 days away. My world was totally rocked.
Needless to say, this first month of being a mom of three has been anything but “easier” than going from “one to two”. I will also add that it does make a difference what the age difference is between the siblings when comparing the jump in kids. Our oldest was 3 years old when we had our second, making him quite helpful and with the ability to communicate. Now for our third, our youngest was just turning 2 years old, in the prime of his “terrible twos”. My oldest (now 5 years old) also somewhat regressed in behavior after the birth of this child. All in all, I don’t remember ever being mentally this rocked after having my second.
Even when it came down to my fitness life, things were different. Due to the fact that I did not need stitches with my second or third, I was given permission to immediately resume physical activity. After my second I went back to the gym after maybe 2 weeks. I was itching. I took very little time off and jumped right back into my routine. Now, I’m the last person to ever want to discourage someone from being active, but I do believe there should be some balance. Looking back, should I have waited a couple more weeks? Maybe. Who knows, honestly. I can tell you that I do remember feeling discomfort in my pelvic region. Could I attribute this to getting active too quickly? I’m not sure. But this time around I decided to wait it out a bit longer. Mentally, I’ve been having a much tougher time so I could actually consider it a pretty vicious cycle. While working out may have helped me mentally, it was also the last thing on my mind. I wanted to take my time and enjoy this time off, with my new little man. Being on my third child, I know how fast time goes. Too fast. It’s scary. So any feelings before of “needing” to get back into the gym immediately really wasn’t there. Before I know it my littlest man will be 5 going into Pre-K like my oldest now. Everything in the moment feels like it needs to be rushed. However, it’s either a curse or a blessing knowing that time flies by quicker than you’d ever expect or want once you have kids.
So for this past month, in the midst of all the chaos, instead of running out to the gym to relieve any type of stress, I’ve decided to stay in and soak up these newborn days. Days we don’t ever get back and seem to pass in a blink. This time is also giving my body time to recover. It’s gone through some major changes and strenuous labor. I deserve this time off.
Now that I am 5 weeks post partum, I am slowly resuming my activity. I have done some cardio sessions as well as solid weight training sessions and feel good. I feel good about the fact that I’ve given my body time to rest and recuperate. Being back in the gym can feel like a mental struggle at times, but each time I successfully complete a session, I feel even better and more motivated. Ultimately, I feel best when I’m training, staying active and eating right. That is where I intend to get back to. I will also be teaming up with a very well respected coach in the bodybuilding industry. Although this is something I’ve done before on my own (losing baby weight), I’ve decided to work with someone this time to give me a clear direction. I’ll have new goals and visions. Let’s face it, that is something I will continue to encourage. As a mom, never losing site of your identity and giving up what makes you happy, in a healthy balanced way.
Darielle
]]>Since it’s been some time since my last update (hey what do you expect, I’m taking my maternity leave!), I thought I would fill you all in on the events leading up to the birth of my third little boy. You saw my 9 month journey of pregnancy, specifically living a “FITpregnancy” life and the many benefits of doing so. If you’re just joining in, you can refer back to my many videos and articles in Mommy’s Corner, especially if you yourself don’t know where to start! I spoke of the many benefits to staying active and eating a healthier diet during pregnancy, including the benefits during labor, delivery and recovery.
I’ll start off by saying that any concern of going into early labor through working out should be alleviated just based off my experiences. All three of my boys were late, and even now with my 3rd, I was unusually later than the other two. Alijah stayed very comfortable up until 41 weeks and even then I needed some “assistance”. The final 4 weeks of my pregnancy were the toughest part of the entire 9 months, as I was suffering from painful sciatica. Shooting pain down the sciatic nerve, which runs from the lower back down the legs. My pain was all on one side and I began seeing a chiropractor in this last month just to ease my pain of simply walking or standing. This is something I strongly suggest to any pregnant woman, as the alignment in our hips and pelvis change, along with everything else. The pain is something I had never experienced before and really threw me off, physically and mentally. This is when it’s important to listen to your body and slow things down when needed. I was not ok with pushing myself in the gym so if all I could do was the elliptical, since that took pressure off my hips, that’s what I would do. If that was painful, I’d stick to some light weight training or take the day off. Truth be told, the last few weeks were spent with my feet up the majority of the time alternating ice and heat, reserving any energy and comfort I had left for my two boys. It wasn’t easy to let that active part of me go since I was in the gym almost daily passed my due date with my second pregnancy. This one was taking a different type of toll on me.
It was uncomfortable, I’ll admit it. Annoying and painful, too. I was due August 6th, and on August 10th we made the decision to induce, meaning to assist the contractions with medication (pitocin). Here’s the funny thing. Apparently a full moon brings more women into the hospital in labor than other times of the month (according to the nurses). Funny, right? Somewhere in the week of August 10th, there was a full moon and half the city decided to go into labor. Not me, nope. Therefore, the only room available would be in the overflow recovery area. After an emotional night of learning that I will not be having the baby that night, or even the night after, I pulled myself together and continued to limp through the next few days. Finally, on the night of August 12th (I know, only two days later, how dramatic am I), Aaron and I check into the hospital at 9pm, where I was given a comfortable labor/delivery suite. As I look around the room and see the various medical items that will be used during delivery and the small bucket of newborn supplies laid in the high-beam hospital grade bassinet, its all becoming far too real that this is about to go down.
To sum up the process of inducing, a “cervix softener” is inserted which is the first step in putting me into labor. At this point, I was already having contractions, but very light ones. After sleeping through the night with not too much more progressing in the labor department, they start me on “pitocin” intravenously, which is a synthetic form of the hormone oxytocin, what our body naturally produces to go into labor. The goal is to create contractions that will cause me to dilate and eventually give birth. Unfortunately, it does not always work out that way and some women end up needing to get a C-section if the induction is unsuccessful. This was a fear of ours, as there’s no way to tell what the outcome would be. Our doctor assured us that because this is my third child and I was already one week late, that my chance of ending up with a C-section was very small.
So here we go, the induction had officially began at 7:30 am and contractions were coming on every 2 minutes, lasting up to 40 seconds each. After a couple of hours, I opt for an epidural and am lucky enough to have gotten a really wonderful anesthesiologist (the best one out of the three births). Within 15 minutes, I was completely numb. Fast forward to 12:50, I’m fully dilated and ready to push! Like clockwork, my doctor walks in and tells me its game time. If you’ve never given birth, I’ll give you a run down on how this part works. Each time you get a contraction, you take a deep breath and push for 10 seconds; repeat two more times back to back. Consider this a “set” of pushing Your break is when you’re not having a contraction. As soon as those suckers come back, you’re pushing whether you want to or not, but trust me you’ll want to.
At 1:06pm, about 10 minutes after the delivery process began, we welcomed Alijah Jerry Singerman, at 7lb 1oz, 20 inches long into the world! He was perfection. Now here is a little bit of important info that may or may not be TMI for some people out there, but this was a major difference in my births between the “fit” ones and the not-so-fit. I did not tear or need any stitches. This is huge, because just that one little stitch alone can effect recovery time. As soon as the epidural wore off, I was up and walking like it was just another day, no baby births or anything. At my departure from the hospital, my doctor gave me the green light to resume normal physical activity immediately, but to take it “slow”.
Now, I told you about my labor/delivery story, so the obvious benefits of being in a more physically fit state can show through the actions of my birth. To show that when it came to the physical aspect of labor, I feel my state of fitness paid off tremendously. When it comes to the mental recovery of pregnancy, that can be quite different. While being active absolutely helps your state of mind, there’s really no escaping the inevitable hormone fluctuations that come postpartum. My body just went on a roller coaster of a ride and I’m now on a downhill slope to the exit. You may have heard that our body’s are considered pregnant for an additional 9 months, since that’s about how long it takes for our body to return to “normal”. This is not a reason to sit back with our feet up for an additional 9 months, but really more of a warning that our body and mind are healing. Things are not going to feel 100% “normal” for a little bit.
In my next blog, I’ll address the differences between my second and third (current) post-partum period and how letting the healing process be a bit longer is paying off.
A personal shout out to the Labor & Delivery nurses at Boca Regional Hospital. These women are truly caring and wonderful at what they do!
These last two weeks have been very long for me. Actually more like this past month. I started a new training plan which involved more time in the gym and more time away from my daughter. It required me to tend to my house more than normal and make sure everything was clean as I knew I had family coming to visit soon and a spare room that still had boxes and things to be unpacked from when we moved. (Yes, still sitting there.) I had to spend time on preparing meals two times a week that took about 4-5 hours each time. To top it off I had 2 failed sleep studies which I still have to take one more and then I just quit lol. Let’s not forget appointments and Dr visits from having a sick kid once again! Anyways, all of this has made my time with my daughter feel limited. Each night I rock her to sleep I stare at her and realize how each day she gets a little bigger. New words are added to her vocabulary and I wonder where my sweet baby has gone as I hold this growing toddler who I love more than life itself. I dont want to miss this. This time I will never get back. This time that goes faster than I ever thought and one day she wont be my little girl curled up in my lap and it brings tears to my eyes. So for now I’ll stare at this tiny ever growing face and remember this….
Everyday, no matter what happens or who my daughter is with, when she sees me she stops and runs to me yelling “Mommy!” with the biggest hug because she missed me. She loves me. We need to as Moms (and Dads who read this) not be so hard on ourselves. We need to trust that what we are doing is right for our kids and not worry about what anyone else says or does. There will be times that no matter what we do someone else will disagree with our method or think they can do it better or just plain think we are wrong. Guess what, your not. If it’s what you feel is best then there is no wrong answer. There is no who did it better. It’s about what is right for YOUR family and guess what, the wonderful part is WHO F*%*ing CARES what others think!!! That’s the best part!! When you become a parent, you instantly become your own boss and no one above you will ever tell you what’s right or wrong. Your in charge. It’s a HUGE undertaking but absolutely the most rewarding experience one can ever have. It’s the most beautiful, exhausting, mind blowing, 24/7 time consuming, mentally draining, under appreciated, under valued and physically demanding job you will ever know and it lasts the rest of your life…… incredible right? (And a little scary lol) it’s also the BEST job I have EVER had…. period.
I read the poem below in a forum and had to share it here as it says it better than I could ever do…
“When we are worrying over whether or not they are eating right, eating enough, or if they even ate at all today.
They are loving us.
When we wonder if we are too hard on them or not disciplining them enough.
They are loving us.
When they give us extra cuddles or throw the biggest tantrum ever.
They are loving us.
When we are not sure if we held them too much today or didn’t hold them enough.
They are loving us.
When we can’t always be the fun and exciting mom because the house needs cleaned and life is chaotic.
They are loving us.
When we are trying to be present at home, but work is weighing on our minds.
They are loving us.
When we feel like everything is going wrong.
They are loving us.”
-Sara Bigelow Myser
Remember this, at the end of the day, nothing matters but your family. Your little ones who look up to you and think your the sun moon and stars all combined into one. You answer to no one but the Man Above, so release that tension from your shoulders, take a deep breath, and enjoy this little glimpse of time because it will all be gone before you know it and be just a wonderful memory.
xoxo
Wendy Lee Govoni Capurso
]]>I don’t like to complain or play the “victim mom”, but I’m going to right now. Because I cried. This morning was one of those mornings that I just wanted this baby out. I wanted to hear we’re nearing the end and I won’t have to waddle around or struggle to bend down anymore with hips that I’m almost positive would qualify for a replacement. The morning began with a very whiney, cranky and uncomfortable 5 year old not able to deal with his allergies, a never ending battle every morning. Between getting nose spray in him, anti-itch cream on his dry skin and taking his antihistamine medication, it’s a frustrating battle for everyone involved. It’s a split between frustration with his crankiness over it and my heart breaking because I do everything I can and it only seems to work half the time. Then there’s my 2 year old who just likes to yell at me when he doesn’t get his own way. This included not being able to run around the street barefoot because the bus was late for my older one. Oh the meltdowns! It was a mess. Mornings like these feel like you’re just being yelled at nonstop by your kids and you want nothing else but a nice big glass of wine..by 8:30am.
9:15 comes where I waddle/limp into my OB’s office for my 38 week check up. My blood pressure is higher than normal 130/70, I’m typically 110/60. I knew after the morning I had that this would happen. This appointment is following a week of major muscular discomfort, lots of heating, couch lounging and moments of what I pray are small contractions giving me something to report back to the home front. Cervix change, dilation, baby dropping, anything. Give me something! My doctor checks me and has NOTHING to report as changed. I’m still very much pregnant and in his words the baby is “very comfortable”. Well, gee, I’m glad he is! I’m used to being late, both of my boys were 4 days over my due date, so I’ve had in my head that this will be another one. But still I can’t help the feeling of wanting to be hopeful at this point.
Doctor leaves the room. I start crying. I’ve never even cried over this before, but today was just one of those days that I wanted to be done, or at least told that I’m almost done. I wanted to feel like myself again, play with my kids without needing to put my feet up 10 minutes later, or go to the pool with them by myself and not need an extra hand because I’m too uncomfortable to chase my 2 year old around. It’s a feeling of powerlessness because there’s really nothing I can do at this point but wait.
I pulled myself together. With red, glassy eyes I made it through making my next appointment, got to my car, and cried some more. Drove over to our office, sat by my husband and cried even more. Why I’m even crying this much, I don’t know. But I did know that I was having a major moment and once I let myself feel it, I needed to suck it up and move on. I began thinking of the reasons why I needed to get over this and continue to live my life for the next 2 weeks without focusing on the end of the pregnancy. It was coming, just not at the moment I wanted it. So after thinking, I realized almost every pregnant woman goes through this by the end of the 9 months. Maybe not the cry in the doctors office experience, but the desperation of wanting the pregnancy to be over and finally bring their new baby into the world! So for any women out there struggling, or who will be struggling, these are my main points to keep in mind. After a good cry of course
Yes, these are things I had to tell myself today to get over the anxiety of continuing to play the “waiting game”. I’m sharing my thoughts in hopes that it can help other mothers struggling at this end point to move passed the emotion and think of the “bright side”. And to think, in just 2 weeks I’ll be talking all about life as a mom of 3 boys. Ok, maybe he can stay in a little bit longer.
-Darielle Singerman
Fitmom of 2 and a Bump
]]>Even through my pregnancy, I made it to the gym regularly. Like I said, the gym has always been my go to place and working out helped me manage the array of thoughts that goes through a pregnant woman’s head. (Cue apologies to our husbands!) But, then my son came which was obviously life changing in the most incredible of ways, but it also left me, a lifer in the gym, grasping for normalcy without the one constant I’ve always had – the gym. First off, I wasn’t allowed to work out (the way I wanted to) for 6 weeks. Then, I finally got the clearance from my doctor and had the motivation to go to the gym, but I didn’t have the time because my son needed me constantly and my husband was traveling for work. I knew I had to work out because that’s what I do and it has always made me feel better, but working out the way I always have was just not physically possible at the time.
However, where there’s a will there is a way. I decided I was going to continue my fitness journey, but in a different way. I started at home workouts, in my living room, with my son attached to me 100% of the time. It gave me a sense of normalcy and I was seeing changes in my postpartum body. I kept at it, increasing the intensity and adding weights when I (rarely) had a free hand. What I have discovered is that fitness looks different for everyone and, in my case, fitness can look different through various stages of your life. There isn’t a right or a wrong other than if you choose to neglect yourself completely. There is nothing wrong with a mom taking care of herself. Instead, moms need to take a few minutes each day to do things that make them happier. A happy, healthy mommy is a better mommy. Beyond that, your kids won’t always listen to what you say, but they certainly will emulate what you do so make sure you are setting a good example for them.
If you think home work outs are for you, but you don’t know where to start, please check out FitMommyAcademy.com. After years of experience through bodybuilding, CrossFit and Strongman and experiencing pregnancy and postpartum first hand, I’ve create a tool for moms to get in quick, effective work outs at home without having to sacrifice time with their little ones.