One week post birth, a close friend/athlete of Redcon1 (Dallas McCarver) passed away, which was a major shock to us all and really hit us hard. Making the decision to leave the baby for one night to attend his funeral out of state was not easy, but felt it was something I needed to do. Two weeks later we get hit with the news of a possible Category 5 hurricane (Irma) making its way directly to us. Aaron (who is a Katrina survivor) immediately wanted to plan for an evacuation. Although I wanted to fight it at first, I eventually became aware that we had no other choice. We didn’t have a generator for our home and attempting to stay through a hurricane of that magnitude would not be the wisest decision with a 5 year old, 2 year old and 3 week old. Through a ridiculously long and eventful/torturous journey to get out of south Florida, we made our way to New Orleans and back home after 6 days away. My world was totally rocked.

Needless to say, this first month of being a mom of three has been anything but “easier” than going from “one to two”. I will also add that it does make a difference what the age difference is between the siblings when comparing the jump in kids. Our oldest was 3 years old when we had our second, making him quite helpful and with the ability to communicate. Now for our third, our youngest was just turning 2 years old, in the prime of his “terrible twos”. My oldest (now 5 years old) also somewhat regressed in behavior after the birth of this child. All in all, I don’t remember ever being mentally this rocked after having my second.

Even when it came down to my fitness life, things were different. Due to the fact that I did not need stitches with my second or third, I was given permission to immediately resume physical activity. After my second I went back to the gym after maybe 2 weeks. I was itching. I took very little time off and jumped right back into my routine. Now, I’m the last person to ever want to discourage someone from being active, but I do believe there should be some balance. Looking back, should I have waited a couple more weeks? Maybe. Who knows, honestly. I can tell you that I do remember feeling discomfort in my pelvic region. Could I attribute this to getting active too quickly? I’m not sure. But this time around I decided to wait it out a bit longer. Mentally, I’ve been having a much tougher time so I could actually consider it a pretty vicious cycle. While working out may have helped me mentally, it was also the last thing on my mind. I wanted to take my time and enjoy this time off, with my new little man. Being on my third child, I know how fast time goes. Too fast. It’s scary. So any feelings before of “needing” to get back into the gym immediately really wasn’t there. Before I know it my littlest man will be 5 going into Pre-K like my oldest now. Everything in the moment feels like it needs to be rushed. However, it’s either a curse or a blessing knowing that time flies by quicker than you’d ever expect or want once you have kids.

So for this past month, in the midst of all the chaos, instead of running out to the gym to relieve any type of stress, I’ve decided to stay in and soak up these newborn days. Days we don’t ever get back and seem to pass in a blink. This time is also giving my body time to recover. It’s gone through some major changes and strenuous labor. I deserve this time off.

Now that I am 5 weeks post partum, I am slowly resuming my activity. I have done some cardio sessions as well as solid weight training sessions and feel good. I feel good about the fact that I’ve given my body time to rest and recuperate. Being back in the gym can feel like a mental struggle at times, but each time I successfully complete a session, I feel even better and more motivated. Ultimately, I feel best when I’m training, staying active and eating right. That is where I intend to get back to. I will also be teaming up with a very well respected coach in the bodybuilding industry. Although this is something I’ve done before on my own (losing baby weight), I’ve decided to work with someone this time to give me a clear direction. I’ll have new goals and visions. Let’s face it, that is something I will continue to encourage. As a mom, never losing site of your identity and giving up what makes you happy, in a healthy balanced way.

Darielle

Since it’s been some time since my last update (hey what do you expect, I’m taking my maternity leave!), I thought I would fill you all in on the events leading up to the birth of my third little boy. You saw my 9 month journey of pregnancy, specifically living a “FITpregnancy” life and the many benefits of doing so. If you’re just joining in, you can refer back to my many videos and articles in Mommy’s Corner, especially if you yourself don’t know where to start! I spoke of the many benefits to staying active and eating a healthier diet during pregnancy, including the benefits during labor, delivery and recovery.  

I’ve noticed a trend. Something we can thank the internet for, perhaps on both ends. The beauty of the internet is that it’s opened everyone up to create a voice, movement, opinion. It can be wonderful, and at times discouraging and upsetting, especially when said opinion doesn’t agree with yours. Something that has popped up multiple times for me in just the last week are blogs or videos of women talking about their dislike or intolerance for the women online who preach “Fitmom” or “Fitpregnancy”. In this rant on the “fit mom” community, they are discouraging followers from worrying about their fitness goals. In a nut shell, making judgmental statements to allude to the fact that if you are focusing on such goals, you must not be the best mother you can be.

Now, clearly the elephant in the room is that I am one of those women who enjoy posting/talking about life as a mom in fitness, aka Fitmom, who also happens to be pregnant. Now, I’m not going to point any fingers as to who’s right or wrong here, because we’re all going to promote what we believe in. What I am here to do is argue the statements of these women that feel the moms promoting fitness are too focused on themselves and not their role as a mother. I even read as much as a statement that we “must” give in to cravings and not worry if we are gaining an excessive amount of weight, because apparently the more weight you gain, the more you’re “loving” your child. Huh??

Are there extreme cases? Yes. On both ends. I do my best to show a little bit of life as a mom mixed in with my fitness life. But that’s me, and I know not every mom wants to post about their kids and specifics of what they do with them on an hour to hour basis.

Here’s my issue with these women. We live in a society that more often than not, automatically default to the thought that “eating for two” is doubling the calories with zero repercussions . You should not (or don’t have to) exercise during pregnancy. Having a baby means losing your body. You’re selfish if you’re a mom and take care of yourself in any way. If you’re anxious or depressed, there’s medication for that. The list really goes on as to what the average woman thinks of pregnancy and motherhood. Among those thoughts are few that have to do with caring for your child and tending to their every need, want and desire. That typically comes natural to moms. That’s what we’re meant to do.

My issue is, if these are the thoughts most women have, and there are women who have figured out a different way to do things so you’re not losing your sanity, you’re gaining back confidence in your body, not peeing yourself when you sneeze (which one mom claims EVERY mom does after having a baby), have the physical ability to keep up with multiple kids, all while being a loving, amazing, cuddly mom, then WHY would you discourage such a positive powerful message from being spread? Maybe it’s just something to argue and these women feel they haven’t figured it out themselves so need someone to blame, but it personally makes me sad to read. It’s a movement in our society that could move in a positive direction, and discouragement from the lifestyle is the last thing we need.

I’m a huge advocate of power of the mind, that we all have the ability to choose how we want to live our life even in the crappiest of situations. In a book I read titled, Your Pelvic Floor, there was a quote that I absolutely loved. “Don’t confuse something common as being something normal”. This quote could not speak to me anymore if it tried! Maybe it’s the slightly rebellious side of me that loves going against the “norm”, but this is such a powerful message that all women should know before entering pregnancy and motherhood. To the mom who made the video claiming “all women pee themselves when they sneeze post pregnancy”, no, just no. This is common, but really is it normal at 30 years old to be at that point? That, is what you call a weak pelvic floor, something that can be prevented and treated with exercise. God forbid we acknowledge this and want to do something about it. We must be really crappy mothers for neglecting our child to enhance our own self confidence and physical abilities. Guess what, you can do this without your child feeling neglected, and more importantly while your child feels so unbelievably loved. Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish when you can set such an amazing example.

To the mom saying rather than working out we should be “worrying about rocking our child to sleep”, how long exactly do you think workouts are?? I can promise you if you’re doing it right, you can do 30-60 minutes tops with a nutritious diet. That leaves what, 23-23.5 hours remaining in the day to focus on being a mom? If your child naps, utilize some of that time to prepare some meals or get in a home workout. If they don’t nap, let your child learn some independence by playing on their own for 30 minutes while you do those things next to him/her.

Perhaps these moms are confused that us “Fitmoms” live our life inside the gym, only to come home and ignore our children to make chicken and vegetables to then return to the gym for round 4, neglecting their every need and desire in life. Not exactly how it works. To all the women who are on the fence on how they feel on this subject, just know that it is beyond possible to be a MOM while tending to your fitness goals. You do not have to make a choice between the two. All of these statements made by what I can only hashtag as #JudgementalMoms, come from a place of guilt and insecurity, I believe.

Rather than create backlash on the inspiring messages put out by some badass moms in fitness, take a look at how these two worlds can so easily work together to empower women everywhere. Why be a mom when you can be a FITmom, physically, mentally, emotionally.

Let’s talk about motivation for a minute. What is it to be motivated? It’s actually just a state of mind. The feeling that something has caused you the desire to behave in a certain way. Knowing this, it’s important to hold onto those moments in our mind that got us into the thing we desire (in this case, fitness), in the first place. Obviously motivations can change once our goals change. The first time I worked out when I was 16 is not the same reason I work out today, but it’s not going to be far off. Is it to reach a goal? To prove something? To feel better mentally and physically? Like staying humble, it’s important to never forget where you started, where “it” came from. If you sit down and think about these moments, what has driven you in the past, you can prepare yourself before those de-motivating moments hit. I, for example, am motivated seeing others train harder than me. I’ve always had fitness goals since the day I became 100% committed 7-8 years ago. Whether it was through competition, losing baby weight, prepping for a photoshoot or even preparing for pregnancy, I’ve always had something in mind keeping me focused. In my mind I know watching people train harder than me will push me to be the better version, or at least continue with what I’m doing and maintain my fitness level. In my case, speaking on a day that I may not want to get to the gym, I mentally get fired up by watching training clips, whether it be one or 10 exercises. In general, setting goals is going to be crucial for anything you’re doing. Whether we’re speaking motivation in the gym, work or school. Goals are the destination and what you do to get there is the journey.

While reading up on various ways to stay motivated, I came across something interesting, written by James Clear. He talks about the “Goldilocks Rule”. Psychologically, people are much more inclined to remain motivated when that thing is neither too easy nor too hard. You guessed it, it’s gotta be just right! Lets take the gym for example (shocker). If you are at a point that you are just going through the motions, not truly being challenged and no longer feel you are pushing yourself, it has become way too “easy” for you, thus leading to feeling unmotivated. On the opposite end, if you walk into a gym that feels overly intimidating to you, or perhaps you’re working with someone that is pushing you way beyond your fitness level and you feel nothing but discomfort for days after each training session, that may demotivate or discourage you. Find the healthy balance between the two where you are being challenged in a realistic way. You’ve set realistic goals and feel you are actually working towards something attainable. Humans enjoy a challenge, but usually if we feel it is reachable. So next time you’re not feeling the motivation, think about the routine you’re in and if tweaking that would tweak your motivation at all. If that doesn’t work, just throw on some shoes, suck it up and do 10 burpees, 10 squats & 10 pushups. Pushing yourself through the “pain” (in this case, not wanting to do it) , will actually trick your mind into thinking differently!

-Darielle Singerman

At 30 weeks pregnant with her 3rd, Darielle demonstrates over a dozen different home workout exercises using bands and light dumbbells. Add weight, reps, sets, etc to increase intensity. Our mission: to show all women that working out while pregnant can be safe and beneficial for mom and baby!

For the first, you may be scared, most likely nervous and most definitely not sure what to expect. The pregnancy thing is brand spanking new and everything from the insane tiredness at the beginning, to “why is my hip hurting”, to “why am I getting this weird feeling in my chest after eating??”, aka heartburn. And thats just the first 9 months of this new life! Once that’s over, you get to experience childbirth for the first time and then finally the grand finale that never ends, raising a little human. Oh the questions, comments and concerns that come with that..where’s the suggestion box?? Life as a brand new mom literally rocks your world.

Then comes number two. This time, it’s way less scary and a bit more predictable. During the pregnancy, your confidence is higher, you’re busy with number one and life overall has already taken its biggest turn. You’re already a parent, but now you’re adding multiples to your pack. I’d have to say one of the biggest questions you may ask yourself with this one is (and I’ll use my sons name for example purposes): “I love Asher so much, more than I could ever imagine loving someone. How can I share that love with someone else?? Will I love baby number two as much as I love Asher?” Now this was never a huge concern of mine, but I think it’s a thought a lot of women are ashamed to admit they have. I’ve heard from plenty of other moms this concern, or even just the thought. You’ve created this little family with your first, and you wonder how you’re going to add in an additional little love. But you do. Baby number two is born and he fits right in, maybe with a little bit more excitement because you know of the wonderful things to come.

Now comes baby number 3. Fear is almost non existent. Nerves? What’s that, I need coffee. You’re a pro at this. Now for the first time, this pregnancy may seem more exciting than scary. Not only have you been through it twice, but there’s no longer a question of how can we fit more kids into this pack and love them equally. You do. You know you do, and that’s exciting. You’ve created your family and now the excitement grows of knowing you get to bring in another little person into your family. Introduce him to your world, kid 1&2’s world and all that you’ve been building since your first little guy or girl made their grand entrance. Not only do you get over those nervous thoughts, but you really have no time to pay too much attention to the everyday little annoyances of pregnancy. You’re just as, if not more tired from the first two. Too busy to dissect and analyze every ache, pain, craving, thought, etc that you may have with the first pregnancy. So yes, the 9 months fly by. Being only 2 months away from welcoming number 3 into the world, I feel like I could use an extra 6 just to prepare his nursery.

Darielle Singerman

Although nothing can replace a solid diet, as you should be getting your nutrients via food-source, a good multivitamin is always recommended pre-during-post pregnancy. Since prenatal vitamins are typically packed with tons of extra nutrients, many women choose to take these year-round whether they are expecting or not. It is a wonderful compliment to an already balanced, nutritious diet. Of course if you’re lacking in the “balanced”, “nutritious” or “balanced and nutritious” part, then a good multivitamin is even more important for you and baby. There are many vitamins & minerals that aid in the growth & development of your little womb baby, as well as keep your own body fully operating as little guy/girl is taking from you.

Nutrients to look out for

Folic Acid : Recommended at 400 mcg/day: One of the more important ones to look out for, as this helps prevent defects of the brain and spinal cord, neural tub defects. Because this would have the biggest impact at the very beginning of the pregnancy, experts suggest beginning a prenatal vitamin before conception. You can get this from foods, specifically leafy green vegetables, citrus fruits & fortified cereals. However, folic acid in a supplement form is still highly recommended.

Iron : Recommended at 27 mg/day: During pregnancy, your body is producing more blood for the baby. Iron is used to produce these red blood cells in your body, as well as move oxygen throughout your body and to the placenta. If you are not taking in enough Iron to fuel this, you risk getting anemia and feeling extra tired and run down, as a result. This can also result in early labor and/or low birth weight. Foods you can also get more iron from would be beef, chicken, beans, spinach & fortified cereals. Did you know pairing a food source containing Iron with Vitamin C increases absorption. On the flip side, there are foods and drinks that can prevent proper Iron absorption. This includes coffee, tea, milk & whole grains. So skip the cup of coffee with your vitamin and opt for a glass of Orange Juice to get the most out of your vitamin!

Calcium & Vitamin D: Recommended at 1000mg/day & 5mcg/day: Your baby will take the nutrients it needs to grow…from you! The first place Calcium is taken from is bones/teeth, which can definitely make them weaker and not as healthy if there is no Calcium supplemented. Foods to get this from would be milk products, orange juice, tofu, salmon & kale, to name a few.

Omega 3: Recommended at 300mg/day, part DHA, part EPA: While some Multivitamins may have this in their formula, its typically not in large enough doses to account for the full recommendation. So it’s important to add this on as an additional supplement to your multi. Omega-3 fatty acids are essential for many functions of the body including brain/cognitive development. Fish & nuts would be the main food source to get this from, but again, a supplemental Omega-3 is advised!

With the extra nutrients you’re taking in, plus crazy hormonal fluctuations, you may experience some side effects. Luckily it’s not a list of a 150 including anything so serious that can’t be fixed, but its enough where if you notice some, tell your doctor. It would include nausea, constipation, loss of appetite, cramps, vomitting. For me personally, with my first two pregnancies I would get nauseous after taking my multivitamin. An easy fix for that is to either try taking with food and if you’re like me where you already were, try taking it right before bed. That is what I had to do and it worked like a charm. Now, I’m taking a different multivitamin that gives me no side effects whatsoever. I do like this one because it’s made from whole foods and contains digestive enzymes, something that may be helping the nausea. If you’re not sure where to start, it’s always a good idea to ask your Doctor. The office should have samples to give you and try before committing to any one brand of vitamin.

While these are only just a select few vitamins & minerals to look for, these would be the key players of which you’d want to look out for to be sure you’re getting the right amount for yourself and your growing baby. Don’t be scared off by the potential side effects of the multivitamin, as there’s greater risk in not getting the right amount of nutrition!

Darielle Singerman

Throughout these years of child rearing and wanting to always do the “right” thing for your children, be the best mom you could ever imagine being, it’s easy along the way to forget about ourselves. We are constantly thinking “give, give, give” to our little ones that we are taking so much away from ourselves and possibly your significant other. Between stories I hear and people I know, it can become a real negative life changer when you’re too busy giving every ounce of physical and mental energy to your little ones and forgetting about yourself. While it’s easy to forget about what you love to do (what is that any more anyways??), I do believe taking just a little bit of time out of your week, hopefully your day, to think what would make you happy can be a game changer. Why a game changer? If you’ve ever had a long day with your kid/s, where they’ve driven you absolutely borderline crazy, only to be imagining yourself floating on a raft to a deserted island sipping margaritas in complete silence, then you know how going out to dinner with your significant other that night can literally save you mentally and emotionally. Fast forward 60-90 minutes into date night, you find yourself wondering what the kids are doing, if they had a good night, whats the plans for tomorrow, etc. etc. You go home, wake up the next morning and want to hear all about their night while snuggling on the couch sipping a cup of coffee…which will naturally last 2 minutes before the cycle starts all over again. My point is, sometimes we may not realize how the shortest amount of “break” can make such a huge difference. Not only were you able to connect with your partner sans screaming kids, but you were able to get that time for normal, human-being you, taking away “mom” you. If you think about the result of any “constant”, the fuel will run out.

Not only are the occasional breaks so important, but I bring you to my main point of keeping YOU as YOU, and not Mom. Sure, we’re still “mom” 24/7, but something else we easily do is letting go of part of our identity. When I think about some things that have identified me before becoming a mother, fitness and music come to mind. Fitness is an obvious and something I’ve kept my passion for throughout my years as a mom, but most of you wouldn’t know about my love of singing. Music is something I grew up in and loving, attempted to pursue professionally and made the decision to change when I found it wasn’t realistic any more. Every now and then I have moments of wanting to bring that part of me back to life, even if it were just doing voice lessons a few times a month. What stops me from doing this? Well, the life of a mom. It is hard to fit new activities for yourself into your life. I bet if I really committed myself, I could make it happen. While I haven’t yet made a commitment to that part of me, something that perhaps is just part of my past, I have made time to focus on new interests. Even if they are short-lived, just to get something new in my life, I’ve made it happen. I won’t lie, it feels good! When my oldest was around 2 years old, I signed up for a photography class. I went once a week at night for a couple months and although I didn’t continue, it was a really nice break in my normal routine. Recently, I’ve really enjoyed painting, another possible hobby to pursue. While I’m not sure if any of these “extra” hobbies will stick at this moment being that I do personally commit myself to my own personal fitness, my husband, my 4 year old, 22 month old and soon-to-be newborn, I do know the benefits of taking these times out for myself when my gas tank needs it! Fitness is such a huge part of my life, that perhaps thats why I have little to complain about. Anytime I do start to feel guilty for going to the gym, I remind myself that the hour I spend in the gym, taking care of my physical health, I am also taking care of my mental health. That one hour, or even 30 minutes, can make the biggest difference on the rest of my day, my energy & attitude with the kids. What’s my take home message? If you have absolutely nothing else going on with yourself, or you feel guilty about it, just remember your kids will remember how you made them feel as a child. You have the ability to choose whether you’re going to be grumpy, annoyed, energetic or happy. Hopefully choosing the latter, how you get there, the kids don’t need to know!

Darielle Singerman

Darielle demonstrates 3 (pregnancy safe) Glute exercises that can be done using an exercise stability ball